sixthiterationtexts | un: WEYING - private: HAVENTTHE

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un: WEYING - private: HAVENTTHE - private: THE BROCK REPORT

[And just like that, with a beep and a glitch, her device is back to black and the feelings she'd had about being all too aware of the world and tired of dealing with it were gone. She felt more centered, if frustrated by the aftermath that left.

She'd have to do some damage control.]

Private to Foggy

I owe you a huge apology.

Right mind or not, there were better ways I could have handled it, and you were only reaching out to help. I appreciate that, and I hope you can forgive me.

Private to Eddie

We should talk.

[She's still not sure how to feel about ... what happened ... now that she's on the other side of it. She could recognize that neither of them had been thinking clearly, and she will own up to her own actions. But, it's something else to process it with a clear head.]

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[Eddie is still red, which makes this text interesting. Venom's firm within him. Eddie...

It'll be fine.]

I can guess what this is about. Your band back to normal?

I'm going to take a wild guess that yours isn't?

[Interesting indeed ...]

No, but given the circumstances I think it's a smart idea all things considered. I'm on my way back to my house - do you want to meet up?

No, I think I'd prefer keeping this to text.

[She's - not ready for face to face just yet.] I did leave you something I promised a while back, but no, I want to talk about what happened a few days ago.

...fair enough. I'm down the street from my house. Let you know when I get there. You've got the floor Anne.

While I will take full responsibility for my actions in the moment, I hope you understand that this isn't something that we can repeat. Eddie, I care about you, and I want you to be happy, and part of that is moving on from me and what we had and finding something else, someone else, to make you happy.

That can't be me and the last thing I would want to do is give you any encouragement to the opposite. I know neither of us were prepared for the way this place can manipulate us, how thoroughly it can do so, but I want to be honest in the expectations going forward.

[She carefully types out these two paragraphs, because these are things she knows she is ready to say; there's still the elephant in the room regarding what Venom had told her on the mountain, and her new understanding of it after having spent some time in his scrubs, so to speak, but that's not a conversation she's quite ready to have just yet. That one would need to be face to face, and personal, and grounding, and she wasn't ready for face to face.]

Edited 2019-02-18 04:43 (UTC)

[Here's the thing. Eddie reads this and his first impulse is to agree and shut up, to bury his feelings, but then this brand new red programming slides in like Venom. Inky tendrils oozing out in his mind and-]

I agree. It's going to take longer then I thought it would, but I promise to keep my distance, or at least try until then. Reach out to some others. Try and get out of my head while this uh...this works. I'm sorry. I feel like shit about the whole situation and staying away is the least I can do.

[There's a delay of 10 minutes before a response.]

Anne there's a small-ish dog with a hideously ugly face on my porch what is this did you get one too

Edited 2019-02-18 04:47 (UTC)

It's going to take time, and it's not going to be easy, especially now that we know this place can change it's like this. I don't feel too great about it either, but we can't take it back.

I'm glad you're talking to Foggy, too. [Currently unaware of just what was in that conversation] He's good people and he gives good advice.

That is the croc dog I promised you.

Apology accepted. You weren't yourself, you couldn't help it. I've noticed a touch of... paranoia about people with teal bands and you aren't used to feeling that way.

I do want to talk and explain, if you're up to it or want to.

I'd like that. Do you want to come over to my place or should I come to yours?

I'll come over, I can see you *and* the kitten. Give me a few minutes to rug up and walk over.

[ He needs to get into coat and gloves and all of that and put together what he's going to say. ]

He'd like that, I think he misses you.

See you when you get here.

Foggy turns up within ten minutes. He vaguely resents that with every passing day, he finds the walks and work easier, his body getting fitter and healthier despite his best intentions otherwise.

He knocks loudly and is already letting himself in, because he's expected and it's cold. "Just me!"

Anyone else might have gotten a look of irritation for letting themselves in like that, but it's a different life out here and Anne hasn't felt the need to lock her door like she did in San Francisco, or New York.

And, it's Foggy. She gives him a smile; his timing is perfect, as she's just fixed up a couple mugs of pine tea. It's not coffee, but it's warm.

"I found a book in the library about making teas out of available pine needles and pitch in the winter, thought I'd give it a try."

Lynn has appeared as if out of nowhere, snaking his way about Foggy's ankles in obvious contentment with the visitor.

Edited 2019-02-18 10:09 (UTC)

Foggy takes off his coat and shakes it off before hanging it up. Then he scoops up Lynn, holding him against his chest, hand firmly under kitty butt.

"Pine... tea." He doesn't sound enthused. "You know, hot water used to be a thing. Just... hot water. Before tea. I'm not sure pine will be better, but I'm willing to give it a shot before dismissing it."

"I can whip you up a mug of hot water no problem, but this is supposed to have vitamins and in a survival setting I don't really think I can be too picky."

She sets both mugs down on the coffee table and seats herself on the couch. She small talk has been nice but they had some meat to get into, discussion wise.

"You said you wanted to explain something?" She'd expected he'd be there if she wanted to try and work through the psychological mess of having been a different personality type, but she's curious to see what he's got on his mind.

The kitty purrs, butting his head against Foggy's chin.

Foggy follows her, rubbing his cheek on Lynn's head. "Yes, I know you're there, hello. And I know, we can't be choosers, it just reminds me of this stuff my mom washed us in when we all got chickenpox as kids. Pine and tar stuff."

He sits down, fingers rubbing behind Lynn's ears and the scruff of his neck. "Yeah... you were pretty upset about Eddie talking to me. He came to me and... told me things he arguably shouldn't but it was because he was scared that what happened between you was, well, basically rape because you were in an altered state and maybe not able to consent. The thought had gotten into his head and you know what a thought like that can be like." He hadn't wanted or needed to know, but he realised at the time, Eddie was scared, in a very not Eddie like way.

Anne's expression pulls a little more somber. The thought hadn't crossed her mind, since even without this place meddling, there was always the risk of attraction. She'd been ready to spend her life with him at one point, and this place has made it difficult on both of them to move past that.

"No, I consented. It was a dumb decision but I'll own up to my actions. No, it probably wouldn't have happened if one of us had been in our right minds, but ... no, it wasn't rape." Eddie may have betrayed her in the past, may have acted in his own self-interests with a child-like ambivalence at times, but in that area she trusted him that if she'd been effected and he hadn't, it wouldn't have happened.

But that didn't negate the fact that it had happened, and Anne wilts slightly as she thinks about that conversation with Foggy. "After he left I realized it was a bad move, but ... as you said, I was dealing with a certain amount of paranoia I don't normally have and I didn't know how to process it." Spending a couple days out looking for croc-dogs with Seifer had helped; it forced her to move and focus on something other than the spiral of thoughts, an internal battle she wasn't used to waging.

"I was scared. He left and ... as much as I knew what happened shouldn't have happened and that he needed to go, it still left ... I felt empty, in a way I never have before. That paranoia, I thought maybe there was something wrong with me, that I was cold and unloveable and he'd come to realize it." She shakes her head, frowning. She knows, without a doubt, that that isn't true - but back then it had felt like such a truth it was hard to shake, and even know as she's talking about it, thinking back on those emotions, she feels her throat constrict and the words are hard to move.

Did Eddie have to deal with that, normally? She thinks about her conversation with Venom, and now she can't help but wonder, having momentarily dipped her toes in that dark pool of thought.

Foggy is quiet a moment, because he gets it. Eddie, right now, is acting a lot like Matt and that confidence and surety is comforting, especially in someone you were prepared to make a life with.

"I told him you were both in an altered thought pattern, and if you couldn't consent, then he couldn't either. But you deserve to know that he did tell me you two had sex, because he was really scared he'd crossed a line with you... and in himself. No details, nothing like that, he really just needed to have someone a bit more level headed tell him that he isn't a rapist, whatever else he thinks about himself."

And Foggy had responded in his usual way, to offer whatever reassurance he could in the heat of crisis.

"I'm being super rude. How are you after everything? Are you, doing okay? Feeling more like yourself at least? I notice it's black again."

"Yeah, I'm back." At the mention she turns the device around, looking at it a little absently. "I'm just trying to deal with the fallout now. It doesn't feel great. I think I understand Eddie a little better, though, but we're establishing some space. He's still under the effects of ... whatever is going on."

No details, like it happened on the couch they're currently sitting on (don't worry Anne cleaned it extra well), but Anne pauses a moment before continuing, "It just happened so fast, everything was in the moment, we didn't ... We didn't use any protection."

Right on the heels of Foggy's post, and with her own cognizant understanding of the risks, it had become an afterthought in the heat of the moment. "I'm hoping there's some truth to the fact that no one's wound up pregnant yet, but ... I'm not about to bet on it."

"He's acting like Matt. I know." He knows. That red band comes with certain behaviours that can't be missed.

"Oh. Hey, no, I'm sure you'll fine." He shifts closer, curling his hand over hers. "Everything I've heard and seen says that no one can get pregnant here for some reason, no matter how much they might be trying."

And if that turns out to be wrong... there's options for Anne. And she has a whole lot of people who will help out, whatever she wants to do. "People have been having unsafe sex here for at least two years apparently, you'll be okay. And you don't have to worry about it alone."

"Thanks, Foggy." She squeezes his fingers back, and gives him a small smile. That was true; all the writing on the wall indicated that - whatever was going on here - that had never been a complication. But it's still comforting to know that if the unlikely happens, she'd have support.

"Can you imagine anyone intentionally trying to bring a child into this environment?" She understood - even in her world - that accidents happened and sometimes peopel were't careful or prepared, but in a place that was riddled with danger and everyone was coping with base survival, the idea of people actively making that a goal was a little mind-boggling to her.

"Personally? No I can't imagine it, but there are always people who make terrible life choices and weirdly, not talking about Eddie or Matt this time, because they're terrible at life choices, but I can't see either of them making that one."

He squeezes her hand a bit more firmly, now he's confident that the touch is welcome. "But it won't an issue, because you're not pregnant, because that doesn't happen here. Okay?"

She wouldn't be entirely at ease until she was absolutely certain for herself, but there was a comfort hearing it from Foggy. She trusted him, and trusted his judgement. He'd certainly done the research.

"Okay. You, I trust. The rest of this place ... not so much." She reaches over to take a hold of her tea and take a drink of it, grimacing slightly because it will be an acquired taste. "I am glad Eddie felt he could talk to you."

Foggy isn't as confident as he sounds, but he's very good at faking it and right now, it's what Anne needs. Someone confident she's fine.

"He posted to the network and frankly, I was a bit worried. He was sounding like Matt. Then we met up and he sort of freaked out. I think he trusted me to give an honest opinion without getting emotional at him? Or something, I don't know. I'm just glad to help. He's not a bad guy. He just does selfish, thoughtless things. Like a lot of abused kids. Your face is not encouraging me to try that tea, you know."

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Anne's House

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