un: Miss Jackson if you're nasty | Text | Private to various

[living_proof]

Private to Tony:
Having Xmas at my house, please be there
You don't need to bring anything but you

Also Steve will be there but he can stay on the other side of the room if you want or I will whack him w a rolled up newspaper
Note to self: find a newspaper

Private to Bull:
I'm having a holiday meal/party thing at my house on December 25, would love you to come
Tony should be there

Private to Sam:
I know Xmas isn't really your thing, but would love to have you at mine on the 25th for an awesome dinner party with awesome people

Comments

UN: Sam Skywalker

[thegreatexperiment]

[Sam doesn't reply right away. Mostly because she's just SHOCKED. She doesn't get invited to things. People don't LIKE her. What is this madness?]

Are you
Are you sure you sent this to the right person? This is Sam
You know. The obnoxious one

[living_proof]

Oops sorry, I was trying to get in touch with the village's coolest vampire

[thegreatexperiment]

Ha ha
Seriously, I'm honored
What can I bring?

[living_proof]

There's gonna be like 10-15 people so anything edible tbh
Or you can show up early and help me cook if that's more your speed

1/2

[thegreatexperiment]

I can always bring vodka for a change
Happy to help with the kitchen shit too
I'm not really a cook, but I know how to chop and dice and all that

2/2

[thegreatexperiment]

Wait, 10-15 people?
That's enormous

[living_proof]

Superheroes, man
This place is crawling with them

[thegreatexperiment]

No kidding
They gonna be all right dining with the undead?
I don't want anyone trying to shove a table leg in my chest

[living_proof]

Since a zombie's making their dinner, I think you're probably ok

1/2

[thegreatexperiment]

Cool
Cool
I'll head over to help you cook after I do presents with

2/2 [LOCKED]

[thegreatexperiment]

OK
So
There might kinda be a guy in the picture and I don't really know how that works yet

[living_proof]

Well, you see, when two people love each other very much...

[thegreatexperiment]

Slow your roll with the L-word
We're talking a sordid hook-up here
But that means a Christmas present, right?

[living_proof]

Aren't you Jewish

[thegreatexperiment]

Agnostic Jew
Anyway, he's not
I'm sorry, I really, really don't know the rules for this kind of shit
Do I get him something?

[living_proof]

If it hasn't been very long, maybe something as a gesture, but nothing too personal
A bottle of your turpentine would work
Or cookies or something like that

[thegreatexperiment]

Well, I already gave him one kind of cookie

[living_proof]

Wow is that a euphemism, you're calling it a cookie now
Is it because it rhymes with nookie
Nookie for your cookie

[thegreatexperiment]

I'm not even going to try to defend that
I'll be at dinner
After I figure this out

Private

[ataashihunter]

Oh, yeah that sounds nice. If you want me I'll be there, should I dress up?

[living_proof]

As long as you bring your beautiful self, wear whatever you like
Except bondage gear, it's not that kind of party

[ataashihunter]

Aw, too bad. I was going to get all tied up for you

[living_proof]

Save it for Tony, I'm sure he'd appreciate it

[ataashihunter]

Are you saying you wouldn't like some rope? I could give you a demonstration and you can surprise your boy.

UN: Six Million Dollar Man

[nonstopnarcissist]

We're okayish? Depends on the time of day but we are- clean slate, you know?

It's easier handling him over texts.

Though now I can't get the mental image of you hitting him with a newspaper out of my mind, it's hilarious, please do that.

[living_proof]

I have to weigh your satisfaction against the pained look on Bucky's face
Also, still don't have a newspaper
Might have to improvise

[nonstopnarcissist]

That is a difficult look to endure, true.

I've got enough time to try to make one for you, and I will, just for this. IT'll be full of bullshit, but I'll get it made.

[living_proof]

In that case I request Village Blind Items in this publication

[nonstopnarcissist]

Can and WILL do, Livery.

[living_proof]

That's me, decking out horses

[nonstopnarcissist]

Tell me Bucket's not a workhorse.

[living_proof]

Pretty sure you don't want me getting into the ways he's like a horse

[nonstopnarcissist]

I did not need to know that, how dare you. I haven't been able to invent brain bleach- wait. I need Dust Moth powder. That's what I need.

[living_proof]

You do these things to yourself

[nonstopnarcissist]

I thought we were friends. Friends don't break friends' brains!

[living_proof]

And yet here we are
Again

[nonstopnarcissist]

If you break my brain it will not be as delicious when you get to eat it. Stop hurting your future self here, Liv.