un: fiend; video

[spoileralert]

[ @everyone ]

[ Steph seems terribly excited about something, though she keeps the level of cool she usually does when chatting with people she doesn't know that well. ]

Hey, so, we have at least one chemist here, right? I need a favor.

[ She turns her watch around, with some difficulty and blurry transitions, until it shows a box containing the largest, squarest coffee bag Steph has ever seen. The top is open, of course, so those not familiar with the packaging can see that it's full to bursting of coffee grinds. ]

I need somebody to test this and make sure it's not poisoned without using more than like, a spoonful.

[ There's some grunting and then Steph appears on screen again, evidently sitting next to the box. ]

If it's gonna take more than that this is a bullet I'm happy to take. In fact, I insist. If somebody is risking their life by drinking coffee it's gonna be me.

Comments

Voice UN: Master Smith

[nonstopnarcissist]

I volunteer as tribute!

Video

[retributes]

[ Lucy is definitely not going to bother with text and going with a new flavour of the week username. She appears and leans in, eyes wide, brows up practically to her hairline. ]

Holy shit. Is that coffee? I will gladly join you in the life risking. All for the sake of coffee.

[spoileralert]

Hey, I called dibs!

Video: UN: Reeve T.

[plate_builder]

[For all that it's the first time that Reeve's used the video function, he's clearly quite comfortable with it, all centered and smiling with something like relief.]

I could assist you in that testing if the chemists cannot solve it. I've got paper for exchange. And if not that, I don't know what, but coffee is about the most important thing in this world and the next.

[nonstopnarcissist]

I made you a Sewing Machine.

Voice | Dominant DA

[can_fight_ugly]

Whatever you want, name it. I will become the chemist you need.

[Just - give her some time in the library, take the rest of her wine, whatever; coffee is lifeblood.]

Voice: UN - FormerPilot

[skyward_eyes]

Well I think you just became the most popular person in in the village. Could probably get people to do work for you.

Careful, wealth comes with a cost.

[He's been here long enough to be weaned off the stuff, he'll live without thanks.

UN: Dr. Banner

[notsoangry]

I am an actual chemist. I will come check it out.

Video

[spoileralert]

[ Steph's whole life is flavor of the week usernames. But yes, coffee is more important. ]

It is. And if somebody has to die for this I really think we should limit it to just the one.

[ She is in no way being facetious. ]

[spoileralert]

That's not chemistry, it's just---

[ She groans her frustration. ]

Okay, fine. I will share this noble burden. But I get a minute or two head start so I don't have to watch anyone die un-caffeinated.

[plate_builder]

This is the longest I've been without caffeine since the 90s. Which I understand I should qualify as 20 years.

Forgive me for my excitement, I just have trouble waking without it.

Video; private

[retributes]

[ Private now because a certain someone quite possibly could be following along. ]

Well, when you really have nothing to lose, might as well go all in, tits to the wall and everything, right?

[ 💁🏼 ]

[spoileralert]

[ Ok points to Anne ]

That is way too intriguing an offer to be decided on the spot. An IOU, perhaps?

[spoileralert]

That would be awesome if I had any work that really needed doing. I feel more like a charity service.

[spoileralert]

Yes thank you please save us all from ourselves

[skyward_eyes]

Well, you did tell everyone.

[Yes, he's chuckling a little about this.]

It might have been a bit better to ask for help from a chemist with a situation you've come across. And not, you know, show off your ground gold there.

[spoileralert]

[ She chuckles a little herself. ]

Nah, I don’t really mind. It is a little annoying to have everyone trying to horn in on my noble sacrifice. Like, get in line people, there’s plenty of time for all of us to die by caffeine poisoning, you know?

[skyward_eyes]

None of them are trying to be noble about it. Caffeine's a drug and you're all after your kick. I'm really happy to be off it.

Just make sure you keep it somewhere safe. I'd be half worried people would try and steal it.

UN: The Brock Report

[imareporter]

[Oh my god.]

Holy shit.

Listen I'm sure the list of test subjects is a mile long but I volunteer

[spoileralert]

Yes, that’s the joke.

[ It beats being exhausted all the time because you never sleep properly. ]

I’m almost looking forward to theft attempts. But saying more than that would ruin the fun.

[ Welcome, stranger, to Red Hood and the Spoiler’s house of knives and blunt weapons. ]

[spoileralert]

Don’t worry. If I can find a filter and/or a French press I’ll be making a pot to share.

[spoileralert]

Yeah, I haven’t had caffeine or a full night’s sleep. I’m right there with you.

[skyward_eyes]

Okay, I'm intrigued. I almost want to slip in just to see what sort of 'fun' you have.

Challenges are always good.

[A challenge like that? But no, he can't.]

Video; private

[spoileralert]

I’d really prefer my tits away from the wall, because otherwise it seems like I’m going on backwards, you know?

[plate_builder]

Well, if you're busy it's easier to avoid the full night of sleep.

Actually I'm almost sleeping more here than I have in a few years.