@Zombie In Training | Private | Wee hours of 4 July

[living_proof]

oh god idk who has the worse name on this thing

anyway listen no questions just tell me are we 100% sure the virus is sexually transmitted here
don't think about it just answer
asap


thx






this is liv

Comments

un: zombie in training

[zomboligist]

what. why is my name this? this is not the padawan I wanted to be

also?

three days. 130 hours. seventy condoms.

please imagine the clapback emoji for this next text:

it. is. sexually. transmittable. no. matter. what. you. do.

do not have sex. do not think about sex. we don't have enough brains for you
let alone whoever you sex to death

[living_proof]

OK I think sex to death is kind of an exaggeration

I can't believe I'm asking u this but
oral
what about going downtown

[zomboligist]

I can't believe I'm going to ask

you to him? him to you?

you could probably get away with ... giving. No accidental scratching or teeth grazing

he's not returning the favour though

now. brain bleach, please? I earned it

[living_proof]

RAVI ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW

[living_proof]

That's it, we're no longer friends

[zomboligist]

I work my arse off to support this one-zombie household

young lady, you are not transforming someone because you're thirsty

can we go back to why I'm a zombie in training????

[living_proof]

I don't live in your household, I live in the one WITHOUT ELECTRICITY
ALONE
I am a human being, Ravi, I have needs
Companionship
Guys with amazing butts


Someone up there knows about your zombie period obvs

[zomboligist]

it's not like I'm having sex that loudly
you could live with us

BESIDES, your needs can be met with kissing
make out. grind. dry hump.

whatever it takes to avoid Zombie 2: Boogaloo

and clearly they're wrong. 100% british grade human beef here

[living_proof]

I can't believe you just texted me the words dry hump
And you know what? Your sex is loud enough

[zomboligist]

well, then, I'll just enjoy my loud sex and my freezer.

not at the same time, obviously.

seriously though. please don't have sex with him.

I promise, one day, a nice zombie boy will come along

[living_proof]

I won't
I can be frustrated without being monumentally stupid, I HAVE been here before







And no, he won't
He left right when I showed up and he's not coming back

[zomboligist]

now I'm depressed.

more then usual.

at least he didn't kidnap and run away with our dog this time
so that's one better than the last time he ended up abandoning me

[living_proof]

Omg you really need to get over that chaos killer stuff, it was forever ago

[zomboligist]

and yet, did I have a dog at home, liv?

did I? or was I still dogless?

[living_proof]

You were always dogless, Ravi, because it was never your dog

[zomboligist]

he was when I thought he was.

that house was full of lies for a long time.

[living_proof]

Even when you thought it was your dog, it wasn't your dog
The dog was named Minor, not Ravi Jr

[zomboligist]

named by me, but fine. point taken.

I have minor 2.0 now to help with the heartbreak.
he also misses you.

[living_proof]

Looking at that dog is not going to help with the heartbreak, Ravi

[zomboligist]

How do you get over Major heartbreak?

Is it with ice cream? Because that's a problem.

[living_proof]

Well I'm thinking maybe NOT TALKING ABOUT MAJOR when this started with me asking about another guy might be a start

[zomboligist]

I mean, I meant my heartbreak...

Do we really have to talk about the man you want to bone again?

[living_proof]

OMG
How about let's talk about nothing
I am disappointed and miserable enough for like a week and a half minimum ty

[zomboligist]

So am I, so I don't think any of this was helpful.

Spark's notes, no sex, limited oral. Brain bleach for Ravi.