un: WEarp

[unraisehell]

This is balls

I want my gun. Or any gun. I'll settle for a slingshot. Anything.

Comments

[nonstopnarcissist]

We would've been raising all kinds of hell, Calamity.

[unraisehell]

Or putting it back down. We don't have the budget for a resident techie.

You probably would have been less handy when our biggest bad was the guy who controlled metal, though.

He's here. BTW. Bobo Del Rey is from my hometown.

[nonstopnarcissist]

...bobo the what now?

[unraisehell]

One of the other red pajama arrivals, he's been here longer than me.

We've got some history. Though you'll have to bring me like an ounce of that porch kush and whatever you can improvise for a bong if you want to hear about it.

[nonstopnarcissist]

It's been a few decades since I've made one of those.

Sure, it'll be fun.

[unraisehell]

You're probably gonna want a few hits before you hear the whole thing.

My life's never not fucked up.

[nonstopnarcissist]

I'll make sure it's a stylish bong.

We could compare notes- but I think you might win.

[unraisehell]

Coolcoolcool.

Hey question are the super-powers supposed to cock-block us, or do I just have something potentially Freudian going on?

[nonstopnarcissist]

I uh-


what?

[unraisehell]

Call

the


locksmith.

[nonstopnarcissist]

Sorry, no magic locket with a key for you here, Marion.

[unraisehell]

So this isn't a normal thing for the red pajama set, just a Wynonna Needs Therapy thing.

Great.

Mock me as you see fit, because if I don't laugh about this I'm going to cry, and my wishlist is going to get way more personal than you're comfortable with.

[nonstopnarcissist]

Do you have a size and material preference? I mean. Materials are limited, I don't have someone making me silicone yet, it's not a priority.

[unraisehell]

I appreciate the offer, but I'd honestly just rather work through this like a grown up before resorting to toys.

Which.

Might be the only time I've ever or will ever say that. I'd say make a plaque if it wouldn't be a waste of materials.

[nonstopnarcissist]

How, exactly, are your powers cockblocking you?

[unraisehell]

Well, seems like my red pajama powers are tied to my heart rate, from what I can tell.


I could have boring sex but can't see the point in doing so.

[nonstopnarcissist]

...or you can try tantric sex. Kinky but slow.

[unraisehell]

yes, that's perfect. everyone is always saying how patient I am.

[nonstopnarcissist]

Alternatively- smoke a fuckton of weed. Or I could ask Bruce for tips on keeping your heartrate down, he's great with that.

[unraisehell]

i will try the first idea

if that fails, yoga with your science dilf friend can't hurt. and this place seems determined to throw willing test subjects my way.

[nonstopnarcissist]

...I have never thought of him that way but I can see it? Huh.

[unraisehell]

He's adorable and I want to send him home to our resident lab twink as a birthday gift.

[nonstopnarcissist]

...I don't actually know which way Bruce swings. Couldn't tell you. Happy Birthday Lab Twink, I guess?

[notsoangry]

He can read this. I don't know what a twink is but I'm pretty sure outside of this place, there wouldn't be a happy birthday for anyone. [Not that he's. Oh for fuck's sake.]

[notsoangry]

[What.] [What.] [what.] I know yoga and meditation well. If it helps. What are you feeling exactly? [Yep not not not not not responding.]