text | un: Spark Plug

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Dear: Whomever Might Be Reading,

I know that this method of communication is not new for most of you, but it is unlike anything I've ever really used before. I have discovered that one can make crude little faces to express emotion, like this - (: and ):

This made me curious as to what other things related to this electronic way of "speaking" I am ignorant about. Are there other faces? Are there rules about what might be forbidden? I find myself with more time than I know what to do with, and so any distractions in the form of advice would be helpful.

Thank you!

Sincerely: Thor Odinson

Comments

un: A Reputable Source

[spoileralert]

omg

There are so many more faces, abbreviations, slang... Are you familiar with memes?

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Dear: .... Stranger

I have not heard of these "memes" of which you speak. How does one pronounce that? Me-mes? Mem-es? Please, teach me what you think is best and most useful!

Sincerely: Thor

[spoileralert]

It’s Stephanie. Or just Steph. You don’t have to open and close each message like a letter. It’s an ongoing conversation. Like a chat, but in text form

Memes are a little advanced, but they’re a wonderful chapter for future lessons. For now you need emojis. That’s what the little faces are called, emo like emotion and ji like the letter G. Not sure where that part came from... Meme is pronounced meem. Counterintuitive, I know.

Anyway a few beginner emojis:
:)
:D
>:)
>:D
:(
D:
>:(
D:<
XD
X(
;)
:* (that’s a kiss)
;*
<3

I seem to be drifting into sexting territory so I’m gonna stop there

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Dear: Stephanie

It feels weird not to address you. I was told this is what is expected in an electronic letter. I believe you call them e-mails. But I will try to change my formatting in my next chat to you.

Emoji, even though the "ji" doesn't make sense, is a very catchy word. It sounds like something someone could exclaim in times of surprise. "EMOJI!!" Like that. Though I realize my feigned sense of surprise doesn't quite translate the way it would in person.

THERE ARE SO MANY EMOJIS! This would be a time in which I could use "emoji" as an exclamation of surprise. How is it that you've learned them all? Did you create them? I want to make one, too!

Sincerely: Thor

[spoileralert]

oh yeah that's an e-mail, this is texting. different format

You learn them from other people mostly, but they're also kind of intuitive. like > for angry eyebrows, or like B)
8) looks pretty excited

It's kind of like drawing, but with a very limited number of shapes

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

It feels very strange to not address you, but since you encouraged it, I hope you will not find it rude to follow your instruction.

I like this 8) face!!! Very much!!! He looks very cool and excited and like he is wearing glasses! Or sunglasses!

Humans can be so creative, coming up with these shapes and drawings using such a limited means. I often forget that.

[spoileralert]

Aww good work!

We have our moments. They don't really make up for everything else but they happen

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

I cannot say that we gods - or once gods, if I'm to be more accurate now - are much better. We simply have more time on our hands.

[spoileralert]

How does that work? I mean, humans can mean all sorts of things when they say 'god' but what does that mean about you in a practical sense?

or is that weird to ask, you don't have to answer if it's weird

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

It is not weird, I would be happy to answer you.

When I say god, I mean that my father, Odin, is, or WAS, the All-Father. We are granted abilities humans can only dream of and can never attain in their lives. We are not immortal in that we do not live forever, but we age at a much slower rate than mortals. I am 1,500 years old, for example. And when we do die, whether in battle or simply because we've reached the end of our lifespan, if we have lived as a hero or great warrior, or if we have earned our place, we ascend to Valhalla.

I have been told this is like your concept of "heaven," though I believe that's a religion unique to humans.

So, prior to my arrival here, I had many great powers! I am the God of Thunder and Lightning. With my hammer, Mjolnir, that could only be picked up by those worthy, I could harness and gain access to the wonders of lightning and thunder to vanquish my foes. I had amazing stamina, had immense strength, and did not often get injured. If I did, I healed rapidly. There were many other benefits to being a god, but I hope I've been a little clearer for you!

[spoileralert]

Oh, I think I get it! You're kind of like Superman, but on his home planet he was basically normal.

That's gotta suck, not being able to bench press a train anymore.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

I don't know who this Superman is, but I like his name!

I miss my hammer, Mjolnir, more than whether or not I could lift a train. Although I do miss being able to lift trains. I miss my lightning and thunder. ):

[spoileralert]

I know... I miss coffee. That's basically a superpower

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Coffee! I very much like coffee and had a lot of it when I first came to Midgard!

We don't have any here? ):

[spoileralert]

None. Fun fact: coffee is addictive and withdrawal is a bitch

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

I don't think I ever had enough to get addicted, but that is something to remember for the future, should we ever get some from whomever doles out gifts of addictive bean juice!

[spoileralert]

I'll be sure to let you know if we do :)

So how are you feeling about the whole texting thing now?

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Thank you! That is very much appreciated.

Better, I think. I suppose that's a question I should ask you - how do you feel like I'm doing with the whole texting thing?

[spoileralert]

You seem to be a lot more comfortable with it. Emojis will take practice and observation, I think. You pass my beginner’s class. :)

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Your kind words make me feel like this :D

I will wear that passing as the badge of honor that it is! Thank you!

[spoileralert]

Any time.