un: slothbaby | @everyone

[morphogenia]

So I've been wondering about something! IDK I thought maybe you guys might be able to help?? Since I'm 90% sure you're all much older than me. Does anything really change when you turn 17?? Like I know I'm closer to legally being an adult... in the United States in my version of reality. TBH, I feel like that already happened back in that other place. I learned to hunt, how to make sure people tinier than me didn't starve to death or something else super awful, how to make sure the total strangers I lived with didn't kill each other and the rest of the community (harder than you think!), and stuff like that. For some reason the horrible stuff seems more adult. Learning how to knit didn't make me feel like a grown up. Weird.

I'm so off topic. Anyways! What else is there???? There's gotta be something, right??? 


(IDK=I do not know and TBH=To be honest

**in case Thor is reading this.)

Comments

[ombranera]

The answer is to wed him and then poison him come your wedding night, after you've inherited his land and wealth. If you like I know quite a few formulas that would make it seem an accident.

Then with that wealth? Off to school.

[morphogenia]

..... Wow that would be such a good plan if I were evil. I'm kind of mad I have morals and stuff now.

[ombranera]

Murder isn't inherently evil- depending upon the intent and context. But I will admit for most it ins seen as a terrible thing to do. Mm.

Perhaps tell your parents you do not wish suitors? Elope with a love of your own finding?

[morphogenia]

Sorry! That came out super judgy. Muslims are pretty anti-killing so for me that would be a very evil thing to do. You know do you unless like someone innocent dies and then you know. Stop. That's not cool!!!!

But, uh... I'm working on that speech. It's just hard because they have their heart set on traditions and stuff while I flashback to that super creep and pretty much scream NOPEEE in my head a lot.

[ombranera]

No offense taken. Antivans have a very cavalier attitude regarding assassination, it is a large part of the culture, but I will say I've no reason to assassinate anyone in this village so you've nothing to fear.

Have you explained that your first intended was evil? That may help.

[morphogenia]

Good to know! There's like fifty of us so idk who you could kill anyways without getting chased by an angry mob like five minutes later.

Uh... no. It's... complicated. Is it weird to be ashamed you didn't notice someone was a psycho until they started doing and saying super psycho stuff????

[ombranera]

...It is easy to avoid seeing things you might find upsetting until they become to great to ignore. But they are kind to you, so it cannot be true. But they aren't the sort of person to do such things, of course they aren't evil. And then something opens your eyes, something you cannot possibly look past.

There is no shame in such ignorance. Those that wish to hide their nature? Tend to be quite skilled at such things.

[morphogenia]

Okay good point. Sorry that was such a bummer! Let's think of happier things like.... uh... dogs? Do you like dogs? Oh! Peaches!! Even preserved they are amazing.

[ombranera]

I do miss Barkspawn. Ah- I was traveling with a merry band of mischief makers for the past year and one of them was a Mabari. A large, intelligent warbreed. He's terribly friendly, fairly sneaky for a beast so large, and I would say he has turned me around on the 'liking dogs' front.

[morphogenia]

Nice!!! UGH giant dogs are totally the best! I knew one who could teleport back home. We were totally bffs. Yours sounds so amazing too!!!

Oh! Do you have a dog here? We have like a million strays who could always use a good home.

[ombranera]

I have no pets, nor have I ever had one. It was not exactly allowed and after we were on the road so often. Barkspawn more or less took care of himself.

[morphogenia]

UGH relatable. I couldn't officially keep Lockjaw because 'dogs are unclean' which is so lame! But, he was the same way.

Wow I really wish I could meet Barkspawn now. He sounds great.

[ombranera]

A shame.

He is truly a remarkable beast- he shoved me aside mid battle to prevent me from being cloven in twain by an ogre. It didn't strike him either, of course, so we were both saved a skewering!

[morphogenia]

What a good boy!!!!!!! And wow. I just realized your life sounds like my favorite roleplaying game.

Are you the mage in your party?? Does that even make sense to you???

[ombranera]

Role playing...game? You are a bit young for such things, are you not? I mean I know of quite a few that indulge in such saucy bedroom play early in life and do not mean to shame them but it seems as though you are not that sort.

Me, mage? No. I am a rogueish character, flanking our enemies and slitting throats from the shadows.

[morphogenia]

IT'S NOT A SEX THING. Ahem... it's more like a kid's game where you get to pretend to be like mages or rogues and beat up evil stuff! We have devices that let us do it in a kind of real way? It's hard to explain unless you have computers on your world. Do you???

[ombranera]

...so there are worlds where my very bloody reality is a fantastic game with little consequence, played by children.

In Antiva, children play with balls in alleyways or cards or chess.

[morphogenia]

I'm sorry. Am I being insensitive??? Nakia usually knows when I'm being insensitive and she's not here to tell me!

[ombranera]

I find it strange someone would make play out of something so violent.

Though if it is a children's game it is probably cleaned up somewhat, yes?

[morphogenia]

I hit stuff with a magic staff, it disappears, and I get cool loot. Is that like real life where you're from?

[ombranera]

...you know, now that I think of it? If you replace 'disappear' with 'dies', yes. That is exactly it.

[morphogenia]

Okay then. Still sorry for kind of belittling your struggles by playing them as a game before we ever talked???

[ombranera]

When you imagine something to be fantasy and far from true, I cannot imagine you'd consider it belittling. I am merely confused that this is a thing that exists.

I suppose it makes sense. If you strip the blood and grit from Thedas it would be marvelous fun.