@everyone | un: slothbaby

[morphogenia]

[Kamala starts the video in the style of every cute teen Youtuber: with a wave and sincere smile before adjusting her hair for the millionth time.] Hey, guys! So I wanted to touch base with you on stuff so please watch this. You're helping in the name of science or something. Still watching? Good.

[She takes a deep breath and gets to it.] Alright so spoiler alert if you've been living under a rock: we have color-coded superpowers! Sometimes other stuff, but mostly color-coded! If this is new to you and very confusing, please look back at Mayor Hotdog's post on the subject. If you didn't save it or weren't around when he broke some stuff down for us, that's okay! I saved it and will forward the video to everyone who wants it.

So okay! I'm green which means my power to make my skin super tough and share that power with my friends... or friend. I usually give it to Frank when we go hunting.

I used to only be able to do it when things got super scary. Like a week or maybe two weeks ago, Frank was like, 'Sweetheart, can you do the thing???' or something like that. [Yes, she really tried to mimic Frank's gravelly voice for accuracy's sake. It's as hilarious as you think it would be.] Look I don't write this stuff down. And I was like, "I can try?? I don't feel really scared right now!' and then I did it without being scared at all! It was so cool. I've been experimenting with it ever since. I thought I'd share my findings with you guys now that I've made some decent progress. Share whatever you've found out about below!

Here it goes: [DRAMATIC PAUSE] It definitely lasts up to ten minutes. I tested this by poking myself with something sharp for every minute at home. [She holds up her right forearm with the tiniest speck of dry blood on it.] I drew blood on eleventh one in the name of science. I've touched Frank in the past during our hunting trips, but turns out it's not necessary! He just has to stand nearby. So far I've been able to share my power with him from up to roughly fifteen feet away. We took it foot by foot, but in the heat of battle or hunting, you're not going to be able to do that so just note you can do it from a distance! I think we hit the limit on how far we can go, but I could still use volunteers for how many people I can share this with and what happens to me when I hit that limit. Does this power come from my lifeforce or is it from our wristwatches??? Things to think about! Maybe just one person at a time in case it is a lifeforce thing? I don't want to slip into a coma from hitting a limit too hard.

[She clearly takes that as serious risk. Kamala looks lost in her thoughts for a second before snapping back cheerfully and with painful sincerity. What she has to share next is important.] That about does it for me. I hope this helps and remember! It's super important to figure out how to control your powers. 4 out of 10 villain origin stories begin with, 'I lost control and my sister died! Or she's in some crazy coma!' No one needs a dead person or coma backstory. Figure it out! And remember that it's a personal thing. I couldn't explain to you how I do this. It's like breathing to me. It's probably different for you and you owe to yourself to find out.

Oh and standard warning to potential crazies in our midst who hate people with abilities: congrats on joining us. Please don't start some insane mission to wipe us out and then yourself because God told you to do it. I speak to God five times a day so I can promise you He definitely didn't! He'll probably express His disapproval in the form of a tall and scary man if you come at me. Bye. [She ends the video with a wave.]

Comments

[pampa]

On a space station that was trying to kill us.

[morphogenia]

[Kamala visibly pales. That's terrifying after Reims. At least there she had the option of running away. She'd die, but the option was there. The idea of being in an enclosed place with something that wants her dead? Yeah... no. She's freaked.] Oh... I really should have seen that one coming.

[She toys with a piece of her hair that's suddenly super interesting.] Why does everything want us dead?

[pampa]

I dunno, kid. We're just special, I guess.

[ he'll regret it but he knows he has to ask. ]

How long've you been here? Is that meathead still watching your six?

[morphogenia]

Seven months. [She doesn't sound thrilled about it. Kamala frowns at the rest.] Is the meathead Frank? Because he's still doing that or started doing it now in preparation for a space station trying to kill us.

Seriously what did we ever do to make the multiverse so mad at us?

[pampa]

[ he whistles real low. seven months, huh? ] Shit.

If the universe has a rhyme or a reason, it definitely hasn't brought me in on the huddle. Well. Sorry to freak you out, I guess.

[morphogenia]

It's okay. [Maybe. It's just another thing to worry about. She already has a diary full of that.] I think it's better to know ahead of time so we can prepare and stuff. Besides, I think it'd be really bad if you had to deal with knowing what happens by yourself. It always sucks when people have no idea what you've been through and how it makes you feel.

[pampa]

Hey. I don't need to suck you into my bullshit, Kamala. Not here. Maybe you never end up in Reverie Terminal, this version of you or whatever. It already happened for me, so let's hope you get to skip it, yeah?

[ just ignore the part where it sounds like he's working up to walking out of her life this time before he can even start. she's got everything she needs here, an old dead space detective is seriously nonessential, right? ]

[morphogenia]

[She can tell when someone is trying to ditch her. Kamala just... can't let it end that way. There's something here, isn't it?] If we skip it, does that mean we can still have coffee or something?

[pampa]

[ he should've known it wouldn't be that easy. he's obviously conflicted about something as the pause on the audio grows pregnant, but then he admits: ]

I don't like coffee. [ even while he sounds like he could really fucking use some. ]

[morphogenia]

[Excuse her stunned silence since she's never met a white man who doesn't love his coffee.] What do you like?

[pampa]

[ wow she doesn't even know he's white!!!! but also: fair. ]

Bourbon. [ blithely. he doesn't actually expect to get the hookup from a minor who's ethically opposed to liquor okay, he remembers. ] Is it any good? The coffee, I mean. Space coffee is...

[ the worst. ] It was kinda green.

[morphogenia]

[Kamala makes a face at that.] Ewww. It's definitely better than that! We do have green milk which is super delicious if that's more your speed.

[pampa]

The milk-juice was greenish on Reverie, too.

[ but, well... he's already here. ]

Fine, kid, you win. Why not?

[morphogenia]

Yay! Okay we're the house with the giant six on the side because that's who we are as people. See you later!

[Unless she has to cancel because of some dumb emergency related to a sheep literally named Baby and then they all get kidnapped. Maybe a rain check then.]

[pampa]

Here's hopin' I catch up with you sooner than later, kid. [ he'll b around eventually ]