@Everyone

[thegreatexperiment]

[Sam's put a lot of debate into this text. Like, a lot a lot. To the point of obsession, really. And there are a lot of ways she could go about doing this. But with only 140 characters and about thirty eight rewrites, she finally settles on blunt. It's her brand. Not like it ultimately matters, right? She's coming to terms with that.]

Fuck it. Hi. I'm a vampire.

Yes I drink blood.

No I don't want yours.

Yes I'm probably gonna starve to death soon.

No I don't sparkle.

Comments

[thegreatexperiment]

Well, "let me bite you so I can survive and try not to accidentally drain you dry" is a rough sales pitch

[warriorborn]

Perhaps when it's worded THAT way...

[ Ah, he's figured out how to emphasize text on these stupid little devices. He's learning! ]

Let me offer you my services. I am sure I can help without too much danger presented to either of us.

[thegreatexperiment]

I'm not really sure Kate would be cool with that

[warriorborn]

Why? It is not as if we are going to copulate. I am faithful to my wife and she knows that.

[thegreatexperiment]

There's still an exchange of fluids happening

Dude, I'm giving you an out. Trust me, take it

[warriorborn]

It is only blood. I have bled on plenty of people I had no romantic attachment to.

[thegreatexperiment]

[She actually has to stop texting for a second, pacing back and forth along the length of her room. Are nice people always this frustrating? She doesn't know enough of them for a proper sample size.]

OK look

If you're really into doing this, why don't you let me sit down with you and Kate to explain...how it works? Before you decide

[warriorborn]

[ When they're stubbornly self-sacrificing like Benedict, yes. ]

That sounds reasonable. I will ask her tonight, and then perhaps sometime tomorrow we can take a moment to discuss the particulars together.

[thegreatexperiment]

OK

Look, no judgment if you decide to back out

Seriously

[warriorborn]

I doubt she will have objections to my helping you, she is a reasonable woman, but I will keep that in mind.

[thegreatexperiment]

Cool

I guess

[warriorborn]

Cool.

[ And then, very proud of himself for figuring this out, he adds: ]

:)