UN : The Mechanic

[nonstopnarcissist]

Right, tech wishlists, drop them here. Try to keep these things reasonable. I'm a genius but not a miracle worker.

Comments

[freightcars]

add it to your list
put it above the flat iron, god is watching.

[nonstopnarcissist]

God before vanity? It'll be delicate work, shouldn't take more than a day if I can find the die.

[freightcars]

Hallelujah.
After that if you could start on the wifi you might deliver us after all.

[nonstopnarcissist]

Coffee before wifi. That'll take a few engineering binges and I need to be awake for those.

[freightcars]

You figure THAT shit out and I'll definitely get you some scotch

[nonstopnarcissist]

Coffee? It's a supply issue, no one has the plant. The roasting process is pretty straightforward, I can make a grinder in about two hours.

A moka pot might take a day, unless I find some good sand and brush up on my glass blowing.

[freightcars]

Can't help you with the glass blowing, but I can get you some sand.
Which means jack squat because we still don't got the plant, so
SOL

[nonstopnarcissist]

There might be something roughly similar that occurs naturally.

[freightcars]

Oh hell, don't go down that route
You wouldn't be the first
Some of the shit that grows here makes an acid trip look like candy land
They've got flowers here that turn you into a literal lightning rod
Don't even get me started on the salt

[nonstopnarcissist]

Wait what now? Like, lightening is more likely to strike you, or you produce electricity?

[freightcars]

Both. Makes you kind of an immune conductor, too.
You can't go within ten feet of anyone without risking a nice defibrillation.
We had a sudden crop of it spring up a while back, a few people almost died.

[nonstopnarcissist]

I'm adding portable faraday cage to the list.

Sounds like it could be useful but not without some safety precautions taken.

[freightcars]

Guess if anyone could figure it out
As someone with a metal arm let me be the first to steer clear when you start experimenting with it.

[nonstopnarcissist]

You'd just need a rubber glove. Sleeve. Thing.

[freightcars]

arm condom

[ which he might be in the market for
cough, Liv. ]

[nonstopnarcissist]

We aren't close enough for me to be making you sex shit, Barnes.

[freightcars]

I'll do my best to cope with the disappointment

[nonstopnarcissist]

So wait, what was it about the salt?

[freightcars]

Burns like a god damn carolina reaper

[ Which his girlfriend loves?? Don't ask him. ]

[nonstopnarcissist]

Salt. Salt contains capsaicin? Seriously?

[freightcars]

Don't ask me, I don't work here.

[nonstopnarcissist]

You're just trying to sell the product.

Okay, Salty Spice; what else is there to worry about? So I don't go stumbling around and erase my memory or some shit.

[freightcars]

Hell no, I'm not a fan.

Yeah, let's start with don't go off the beaten path
They've got creatures here
I don't know, like god damn werewolves or something, big huge bastards like a bear and a dog and a deer had some kind of love child and it wants to eat your face off
Hallucinogenic snakes.
Ivy that spaces you out so it can slowly strangle you to death
But there's a hot spring, so that's nice.

[nonstopnarcissist]

...so we're in magical space Australia. That's what I'm getting here. This is either a penal colony, a fucked up reality TV show, a science experiment gone wrong, or a colonization project from hell.

[freightcars]

Bingo
Now you're getting it