[NSFW-ish] un: Tina Not-Fae @everyone

[morethanasidekick]

[All of which arrive spaced out over the course of an hour while most people are either out working around the village or coming in for lunch.]

Dildo

Butt Plug

Strap on.

Either Kidnapped-R-Us was having a sale on snuggies or your Eyes Wide Shut reenactment must have been a real snoozefest.

Comments

[freightcars]

Depends on the reasonin you're crying I guess
And the quantity

[morethanasidekick]

Wait are we still talking about dry riding?

[freightcars]

Tentatively yes, although now that I know we're calling it that I'm thinking about changing the subject and introducing the lord into this conversation.

[morethanasidekick]

If it makes you feel any better you should have seen my first two replies before I deleted them

[freightcars]

I'll just chalk them up to being hilarious, gut-wrenching, and heart-warming all at once somehow.

[morethanasidekick]

There was definitely some wrenching involved

Oh come on like I could let that go

[freightcars]

As a man with a metal arm I'm here to protest on behalf of the tools
Leave them out of the bedroom, don't hammer while you hammer

[morethanasidekick]

What like? Go-go-gadget finger bang?

[freightcars]

I don't know how I know that reference, but I do and I hate it.

[morethanasidekick]

That's just because you know the real reason he wears a trenchcoat

[freightcars]

I have so many disturbing thoughts on this it's almost hard to sort through them all

[morethanasidekick]

You're welcome :)

For real though. Metal arm? No sex puns I swear.

Okay maybe some but only if you make it too easy.

[freightcars]

I do not presently have a reputation for being easy.
Yeah, metal arm. I can get a few of the common FAQs out of the way
-i guess technically yes it is a robot arm
-no it doesn't have a vibrate setting
-no it doens't do anything other than just be an arm
-thank the nazis for the idea and then the wakandans for the remodel

[morethanasidekick]

Nice qualifier

I'm trying to decide which part is spinning me out more right now.
The Nazi creators or the Fozzy Bear make-over

And either you're old as balls or Red was not shitting about the back to the future thing

[freightcars]

Take your time.
Both.

[morethanasidekick]

Both? I feel like both is an acceptable answer here and not much spins me out these days.
Explain.

[freightcars]

Long story very short:
Lost it in world war two.
Got it replaced by the Germans.
Spent some time in a freezer.
Woke up a while back and got a better one.

[morethanasidekick]

Surprisingly this is not the weirdest conversation I've ever had
And not that much better you said it doesn't vibrate

[freightcars]

I've had it about six times since I've gotten here, so. Safe to say, me neither.
Old one didn't vibrate either.

[morethanasidekick]

Next time you're due for an upgrade? Get a woman to help.
You'll have so many moving parts you won't know what to do with yourself.

[freightcars]

A woman did help, actually. She made the new one.
She just wasn't a pervert.

[morethanasidekick]

Shame. Everyone would be happier with more perverts in the world.
Does it have a name?
Dudes name their penises
Metal robot arm is way cooler than a penis

[freightcars]

Neither my penis nor my arm have a name.
Let me go ahead and add that I'm not at this time taking suggestions for either.

[morethanasidekick]

I like you
Most people would have stopped responding somewhere around go-go-gadget fingerbang

[ Why yes. It's entirely possible at least half of this conversation has been Kenzi seeing just how far she can push you. ]

[freightcars]

Thanks, I'm a beacon of stellar social decisions.