[NSFW-ish] un: Tina Not-Fae @everyone

[morethanasidekick]

[All of which arrive spaced out over the course of an hour while most people are either out working around the village or coming in for lunch.]

Dildo

Butt Plug

Strap on.

Either Kidnapped-R-Us was having a sale on snuggies or your Eyes Wide Shut reenactment must have been a real snoozefest.

Comments

UN: The Mechanic

[nonstopnarcissist]

Context matters, GlitterOprah.

[morethanasidekick]

Pretty sure I've discovered the lost and found for Bachelor in Paradise.

That or Walmart

[nonstopnarcissist]

Did you find pandora's box of porn?

un: Barnes

[freightcars]

worst christmas list ever.

[morethanasidekick]

Or worlds most awkward scavenger hunt

What I wanna know is what were they using for lube

[freightcars]

Knowing this place?
Tears.

un: Dumb Bitch Energy

[3ofswords]

u know some of those were tempting but i could never get over the fact that they're all used

[morethanasidekick]

My momma always told me not to put anything in my mouth unless I know where it's been
I feel like that's a good philosophy to apply to the other holes

[3ofswords]

have u rly lived if u don't put a stranger's butt plug in ur mouth at least once tho

un: Danny Rand

[theimmortalweapon]

[What the hell is this?]

Don't you have other things to do with your time besides text weird things to everyone?

[What's wrong with you? There are children here!]

[morethanasidekick]

Dude. Kidnapped. Rationed booze and no TV.

Not really.

[theimmortalweapon]

You could help with gardening or at least pretend to be useful.

Or are you going to depend on everyone else to feed you?

@alias

[underachievement]

Scrubs and a strap-on sounds like the outfit of an 80's slasher villain.

[morethanasidekick]

Jason cums again. Wet dream on Elm Street. Halloween.
Lets be real that's one strap on shy of being a porno anyway.

[underachievement]

Sounds like New York on a Tuesday.

un: Finnick

[fishermansweater]

[ After the first three messages, he can't help himself. ]

I hope this isn't a wish list.

[morethanasidekick]

Please. Lube would be at the top of that list if it were.
Turns out. You people are some kinky assholes.
Literally.

[fishermansweater]

[ And to think, she wasn't even here when people's names were things like big dick energy and secret whore ]

People have to entertain themselves somehow. What else is there to do here?

un: scandalized

[spoileralert]

a snoozefest, or so amazing that the rest of the props literally disintegrated

one or the other, right

[morethanasidekick]

Nah I've seen the people around here
They are way too high strung to be throwing epic swingers parties

[spoileralert]

tru dat

maybe the swingers are gone now?

un: bobo

[fooloftheking]

didnt really get disturbing until you got to snuggies

1/2

[morethanasidekick]

Wait what!

2/2

[morethanasidekick]

You wouldn't have to be a dark-haired, freaky-eyed, nookie-powered Amazon would you?

[fooloftheking]

no but if you want to pass on whoever's name that is, I would greatly appreciate.