[NSFW-ish] un: Tina Not-Fae @everyone

[morethanasidekick]

[All of which arrive spaced out over the course of an hour while most people are either out working around the village or coming in for lunch.]

Dildo

Butt Plug

Strap on.

Either Kidnapped-R-Us was having a sale on snuggies or your Eyes Wide Shut reenactment must have been a real snoozefest.

Comments

un: Danny Rand

[theimmortalweapon]

[What the hell is this?]

Don't you have other things to do with your time besides text weird things to everyone?

[What's wrong with you? There are children here!]

[morethanasidekick]

Dude. Kidnapped. Rationed booze and no TV.

Not really.

[theimmortalweapon]

You could help with gardening or at least pretend to be useful.

Or are you going to depend on everyone else to feed you?

[morethanasidekick]

Judgy much?
Kidnapees don't get a day to find clothes that aren't hospital issue?
And I feed myself just fine thanks bub

[theimmortalweapon]

You're wasting more than just your time with this.

[morethanasidekick]

Oh darn. And here I was hoping I was just wasting your time.

[theimmortalweapon]

I get that being here sucks but come on.

[He has no idea how to put his anger into text... or how to text well.]

[morethanasidekick]

It's funny! We're in a neverending episode of Lost and people have sex toys.
Learn to take a joke.
Or go choke one out.
Whatever works for you.

[theimmortalweapon]

...
What?!

1/3?

[morethanasidekick]

Choke one out?
Spank the monkey.
Pay a visit to Mrs Palmer and her five daughters.

2/3

[morethanasidekick]

Grease the pipe
Liquedate the inventory
Jerkin the gherkin

3/3

[morethanasidekick]

Masturbation dude.
True love starts with loving yourself. Just saying.

[theimmortalweapon]

That's not what I'm asking about?!

[morethanasidekick]

Oh. Good. Was starting to get a little worried about you.

[theimmortalweapon]

[He'd been wondering where the hell she got sex toys from but after her last few texts he isn't going to ask.]

You don't even know me.

[Can she read the frown in his voice?]

[morethanasidekick]

Totally blows when people who don't know the first thing about you just start judging you for no reason, huh.

[theimmortalweapon]

You're the one that started with sex toys.

[morethanasidekick]

Technically it was whoever left them in the lost and found.
Used sex toys are the kind of lost that's supposed to stay lost.

[theimmortalweapon]

I think everything gets put away there. It's not really a lost and found.

[morethanasidekick]

Somebody still had to pick them up and decide that hand-me-down butt plugs was an acceptable life choice

[theimmortalweapon]

Get rid of it or leave it then.

[morethanasidekick]

Oh come on are you telling me that didn't make you smile? Even a little?

There's surgery for that you know.

[theimmortalweapon]

A surgery for smiling?

[morethanasidekick]

For the removal of sticks from butts