@ the Brock Report

[imareporter]

Best welcome-to-the-village-we-may-be-stuck-here-forever gift ideas. Ready? Go.

Private to Tony Stark

...How are you feeling I uh may have a huge problem.

Comments

private

[nonstopnarcissist]

I'm alive? What's up.

[imareporter]

My ex-fiancee is here

She doesnt know that Venom is still alive

[nonstopnarcissist]

...and how long are you hoping to keep that genie in the bottle?

[imareporter]

I can't let her know that he's still alive. It'll put her in danger.

/2

[imareporter]

Honestly she's moved on. She's happier

she's got a boyfriend.

un: jane doe

[scathefires]

how about a nice bespoke corn husk doll

Re: un: jane doe

[imareporter]

She's not really a doll person.

[scathefires]

isnt it more the thought that counts anyway

[imareporter]

Yes but I'd like to prove myself useful which means, sadly, thoughts that work.

[championofsnark]

Alcohol.

Something pointy.

Hugs!

Food.

Sex?

[imareporter]

If I could I would.

What I'm honestly thinking.

She'll need that too.

God I fucking wish.

[championofsnark]

Oh it's for someone special? Oooo it's for a girl. Is she pretty? What's her name? Do you want me to talk you up?

[imareporter]

...Her name is Anne.

She needs friends. She's awesome.

No don't talk me up she probably hates my guts.

[can_fight_ugly]

I can't speak for your mystery recipient but I know I'd kill for a good cup of coffee.

Pointy things sound like a good compromise.

Would not recommend sex.

[Hi Eddie, did you mean for her to see this?]

[imareporter]

[Damn it.

He's noticing this though because it's getting dark and when it gets dark... I'm like a fucking werewolf.

I like that! We could have fur and fangs and claws. We could look like one! That would be fun!]

Hi. Yeah. I sure as shit did forget to put the privacy filter on.

Um.

that last part was a joke.

[can_fight_ugly]

I would hope so.

But there's no need to get me anything.

I didn't get you anything as a 'weird village house-warming gift'.

Where are you staying, by the way? I'm camped out in Room 8 at the Inn, currently, and with winter on its way I think it's probably smart if I just remain there.

[imareporter]

I have a house.

Anne it-

Look I'll stay at the inn and you can have my house. That way it'd be...warmer.

[championofsnark]

Hello! You must be Anne. I think we'd all like coffee. I'm Hawke. You don't like sex? That's a shame, there's so many attractive people here.

[imareporter]

She's fine. C'mon we were having a nice chat let's talk.

[championofsnark]

Darling, I was going to point out how attractive you are next, have some faith.

[can_fight_ugly]

Hello Hawke, it's a pleasure to meet you.

Contrary to popular belief, apparently, I do like sex, but currently my partner of choice is not here, and I'd think it improper to romp off with the first hard dick that waved at me.

And for the record - I don't hate Eddie, and I'm glad he's got friends like you.

[championofsnark]

Oh Andraste let's be friends. You made me spit out my water.

He's a sweet twitchy sort of bloke, I have a weak spot for people who clearly need friends. I am one of those people.

[fishingfortrouble]

Normally I would say it would depend on the recipient and one's relationship to same. But as the would-be recipient seems to have replied, it would likely be best to defer to her judgment.

[imareporter]

That's what people are telling me. She really can take care of herself. I just want her to feel welcome.

[fishingfortrouble]

I can certainly understand the sentiment. But being here in the first place does rather involve having be effectively kidnapped. Your best bet is likely to be in the reactions of the people themselves.