UN: Twilight Sparkles | @Everyone

[thegreatexperiment]

[Sam's taken to using the voice setting. Less obnoxious than text. And anyway, vampires don't show up in video. So her lovely, Midwestern voice rings out over the network.]

So, just wondering. Is anyone else in this clown rodeo as skeeved out by this "Secret Santa" missive as I am? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm bored as fuck. I'm gonna do it. Way more entertaining than counting the cracks in my ceiling. But seriously...what the hell are the Overlords going for here?

[She will never call them "Observers."]

A shitty morale boost? What the actual?

Or is it just me? Am I the only one being bombarded with this crap?

...just wondering.

[A pause.]

And, I mean, if people are jonesing to do Etsy nonsense, my birthday is January 8. Just saying.

((ooc: This post will not reveal who Sam got. Please warn in your header if your muse is revealing who they got, in case anyone wants to be surprised.))

Comments

[oorah]

only if we get to film it so everyone can see

[thegreatexperiment]

Of course. And there should probably be popcorn or Cheetos or something.

[oorah]

i make popcorn. a lot of it. those asshats gave me a popcorn machine not like i can think of a reason why they would.

[thegreatexperiment]

Reward for some behavior they liked?

[Of course, he doesn't seem like the people-pleasing type...]

[oorah]

[ you might not think so, but that's exactly what he is. just not creepy authority figures. the other people here though? he'd do just about anything for. ]

or just another way to make me go WTF

[thegreatexperiment]

Probably.

But hey, now we can have a decent movie night. We'll just have to dress up Peter and Tony and force them to reenact scenes from The Karate Kid for us.

[oorah]

add danny to the mix and i'm in

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh, definitely. He's got the moves for it. And the hero face.

[oorah]

what's a hero face? don't those guys usually wear masks?

[thegreatexperiment]

No, no. Not "superhero." Just...hero. Like in the movies.

I'm from LA. It means good-looking. I guess.

[Did she really just say that in public? Yikes...]

[oorah]

guess i see it. maybe you should tell him that.

[ or he'll eventually stumble on this... eh. ]

[thegreatexperiment]

Or I could take it to the grave.

The second time.

[oorah]

it's none of my business either way

[thegreatexperiment]

Kinda is.

He forced me to learn how to fish. Some sort of weird meditation, Karate Kid lesson.

[oorah]

how is any of this my business?

[thegreatexperiment]

You showed me how to fish?

Which reminds me. Ice fishing? Is that a thing that can be done here?

[oorah]

so why didn't you just tell him you're an expert already?

[ ha-ha ]

yeah it's just hard to get a line that strong. but we could troubleshoot it.

[thegreatexperiment]

I have nothing better to do, Mayor.

[oorah]

you and me both kid.

do you get cold? i'm up to my eyeballs in mittens and shit.

[thegreatexperiment]

Doesn't bother me.

And I'm not just saying that as a proud Midwestern girl. I have, literally, no circulation so...

[oorah]

that's why i asked.

[thegreatexperiment]

Mittens are still probably a good idea. I guess I could freeze without noticing it.

How's that for a metaphor?

[oorah]

i'll drop em off. got ones that'll match your hair perfectly.

[thegreatexperiment]

My master plan to become Smurfette is nearly complete. Mwahaha.

[oorah]

a true evil mastermind