UN: Twilight Sparkles | @Everyone

[thegreatexperiment]

[Sam's taken to using the voice setting. Less obnoxious than text. And anyway, vampires don't show up in video. So her lovely, Midwestern voice rings out over the network.]

So, just wondering. Is anyone else in this clown rodeo as skeeved out by this "Secret Santa" missive as I am? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm bored as fuck. I'm gonna do it. Way more entertaining than counting the cracks in my ceiling. But seriously...what the hell are the Overlords going for here?

[She will never call them "Observers."]

A shitty morale boost? What the actual?

Or is it just me? Am I the only one being bombarded with this crap?

...just wondering.

[A pause.]

And, I mean, if people are jonesing to do Etsy nonsense, my birthday is January 8. Just saying.

((ooc: This post will not reveal who Sam got. Please warn in your header if your muse is revealing who they got, in case anyone wants to be surprised.))

Comments

un:christmas wiener

[oorah]

i got one too

[thegreatexperiment]

Okay, not just me. Good to know.

[A pause.]

Dude, what is it with you and hot dogs?

[oorah]

it's called a theme.

what does yours tell you to make?

[thegreatexperiment]

You know, to be honest, I have no idea what this thing is.

[There's the sound of paper fluttering in the background.]

I'm calling it "art" until I figure otherwise.

Voice: UN - FormerPilot | No Spoilers

[skyward_eyes]

[Well, you've got him confused by the word 'Santa'.]

Mine didn't say anything about whatever 'Santa' is, but honestly? I can see the purpose in the gift I'm making. And morale is hard to maintain in the winter. It's not a bad gesture.

I figure if whoever brought us here are going to give us supplies for this, and maybe the person wants or needs it, then there isn't a harm in it for now.

[Annoyed with the people who brought them here, but still using the chance to talk up their own birthday? Almost amusing.]

Winter birthdays for the win?

[thegreatexperiment]

I don't think there's any winning in this nuthouse.

[She gives an irritated sigh.]

I mean, if anyone wants to boost my morale for the winter, I'd love to go home or something...

[skyward_eyes]

Yeah, you and me both. But at the very least we can keep moving, right? And in the mean time, there's no harm in buoying spirits.

Besides, there's probably something wonderful in a smile of someone getting something they wanted or something like that.

[thegreatexperiment]

Wow. How are you not exhausted being so optimistic?

[oorah]

oh. that's ominous.

[ at least his was a recognizable item... ]

does yours say to keep it a secret too?

[thegreatexperiment]

Yeah.

Why the fuck am I playing along with this?

[skyward_eyes]

[He is. He's so tired of optimism. What he really could go for would be finding something to break and demolishing it. Because he's tired and he's freaking out and this is all a bit much. But that gets no one anywhere.]

The doctor gave me tea to help with sleep, so I always get as much as I need to stay pretty and cheerful?

[thegreatexperiment]

[She laughs. It's an awkward sound. Like a rusty hinge. Not like she gets a lot of practice laughing around here.]

I'll buy cheerful.

I'll have to see your face to decide on "pretty."

[oorah]

cause we're that bored?

[ and because it might be the only gift some people get :c he doesn't say that part though. ]

[thegreatexperiment]

[She pauses a moment. Then sighs.]

You're 154% correct.

And that is 367% depressing as hell.

Video - FormerPilot

[skyward_eyes]

[Well now that was entirely fair. Not that he necessarily cares about being considered pretty, but hey, why not? Got to live with these people and he got a laugh so he'll go with it. quickly combs his fingers through his hair to make sure it's roughly presentable and then positions the wrist band and turns on the video function.]

Alright then. Give me a ranking, scale of 1 to 10. I warn you, I have a delicate ego.

[The smirk says he is being so completely sarcastic there.]

Please be gentle?

[oorah]

you might want to check your math on that.

[thegreatexperiment]

[Although she remains in voice mode, she gives him a quick once-over. And nods a little bit.]

I'll give you a solid eight. Would be an easy nine, in a different context. One that involved actual pharmaceuticals and decent bathrooms.

[thegreatexperiment]

Fake math is all I have left, Hot Dog Man.

[skyward_eyes]

[Okay, now you've got a curious look on his face.]

Pharmaceuticals? You think drugs in a bathroom are going to make me prettier? I know bathrooms have acoustics that make people sound better, but I've never heard that they make people look better.

[Congratulations, he does not understand at all. But hey, he's still smiling over an eight.]

I'm told I've got a pretty forgettable face back home. So hey, free morale boost right there. How about we elect you our morale officer?

[oorah]

OK i'll give it to you. that is exactly 367% depressing.

[thegreatexperiment]

I so love being right.

[thegreatexperiment]

I think that may be the worst idea I've ever heard.

[A pause.]

And to clarify, I meant "pharmaceuticals" as in things like decent soap and makeup, dude. Although, if drugs are your thing, you do you.

[oorah]

it's not worth much in this place but i guess it still feels good, doesn't it?

wonder how they decided what we're giving who.

[skyward_eyes]

I'm pretty much as anti-drugs as they get. I've never heard soap and makeup referred to as pharmaceuticals though.

Though I will give you that my eyelashes look amazing with mascara.

[Please don't ask him how he knows. He would rather not remember that specific mission. Just... just take it as a given.]

[thegreatexperiment]

And who among us doesn't look better with a little eyeliner? I mean, seriously.