UN: Twilight Sparkles | @Everyone

[thegreatexperiment]

[Sam's taken to using the voice setting. Less obnoxious than text. And anyway, vampires don't show up in video. So her lovely, Midwestern voice rings out over the network.]

So, just wondering. Is anyone else in this clown rodeo as skeeved out by this "Secret Santa" missive as I am? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm bored as fuck. I'm gonna do it. Way more entertaining than counting the cracks in my ceiling. But seriously...what the hell are the Overlords going for here?

[She will never call them "Observers."]

A shitty morale boost? What the actual?

Or is it just me? Am I the only one being bombarded with this crap?

...just wondering.

[A pause.]

And, I mean, if people are jonesing to do Etsy nonsense, my birthday is January 8. Just saying.

((ooc: This post will not reveal who Sam got. Please warn in your header if your muse is revealing who they got, in case anyone wants to be surprised.))

Comments

[thegreatexperiment]

Sam.

[Figuring out which surname to give is a waste of time, so Sam hasn't bothered in awhile. But...]

Los Angeles, 2014. If that means anything to you.

[vidal]

It does, actually, but --

Outer space, 2185.

[thegreatexperiment]

Another spaceman? That's cool.

[vidal]

Are there many? I've been trying to get a sense of them, but apparently failing. But then I throw a pebble and keep hitting another mage or dragon-hunter or...

[thegreatexperiment]

Look for a dude named Jean-Luc Picard.

He has a whole spaceship.

...had.

[vidal]

[ That throws him for a moment: a blink, a half-laugh. ]

You know--- I am, frankly, jealous. I only ever flew other people's shuttles.

[thegreatexperiment]

Does size matter?

I think he told me there were over a thousand people on his.

[vidal]

It's what you do with it that counts. [ Bemused. ] And a thousand is doing quite a lot.

You're not from space, then, I take it.

[thegreatexperiment]

Fuck no. I'm about as terrestrial as they get.

[vidal]

Human planet known as Earth?

[thegreatexperiment]

That's the one.

And only, in my corner of the multiverse.

[vidal]

I got to visit Earth for a vacation, once. Expensive as hell and I can't much say it was worth it. But I imagine it was very different from yours.

[thegreatexperiment]

Probably.

[She laughs.]

Still expensive, though. In most parts.

[vidal]

Which part were you from? If I may ask, of course.

[ It's an angle he hasn't quite explored yet. So far, Earth has been recognisably the Earth of his past, for most everyone he's spoken to so far -- none where America was wiped off the map with a bomb, or Australia never formed at all. Funny, how it works. ]

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh, I give no fucks.

I'm from what used to be Los Angeles.

[In spite of her Midwestern accent, thank you very much.]

[vidal]

[ Accents have flattened and morphed by his time, anyhow, as humanity spreads to the stars. Spanish leaves its imprint on Reyes' voice, but he's not as good at pinpointing others. ]

Oh, the United North American States?

[ A slightly unfamiliar name for a country that never existed in her time. But then it takes him a moment, with the quickness of voice communication, without being able to pick through someone's words via text, before he catches it: ]

Wait. "Used to be"?

[thegreatexperiment]

United States of America. The North American continent.

And the city kinda got destroyed.

[vidal]

Well, shit.


By what?

[thegreatexperiment]

[She sighs.]

We call it the "Rain of Fire." A day when every single natural and scientific satellite orbiting the planet came crashing down and killed about a third of the population.

Fun times.

[vidal]

[ Well, that certainly never happened in his world. Alright. Theory tested: other modern Earths do exist. And yet— it sounds so plausible, sounds like something that could have happened. God knows there's no end of satellites cluttering up his home solar system. ]

Christ. Sorry. I can imagine maybe you're not too fond of things from space, after that.

[thegreatexperiment]

It's not the things that are the problem. Things don't have intent. It's the people who are asshats.

[vidal]

On that, we both 100% agree.

[thegreatexperiment]

Good to know.