UN: Twilight Sparkles | @Everyone

[thegreatexperiment]

[Sam's taken to using the voice setting. Less obnoxious than text. And anyway, vampires don't show up in video. So her lovely, Midwestern voice rings out over the network.]

So, just wondering. Is anyone else in this clown rodeo as skeeved out by this "Secret Santa" missive as I am? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm bored as fuck. I'm gonna do it. Way more entertaining than counting the cracks in my ceiling. But seriously...what the hell are the Overlords going for here?

[She will never call them "Observers."]

A shitty morale boost? What the actual?

Or is it just me? Am I the only one being bombarded with this crap?

...just wondering.

[A pause.]

And, I mean, if people are jonesing to do Etsy nonsense, my birthday is January 8. Just saying.

((ooc: This post will not reveal who Sam got. Please warn in your header if your muse is revealing who they got, in case anyone wants to be surprised.))

Comments

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh, this guy named Titian who had amazing color--

[Why is she answering personal questions? This isn't her way.]

So, New Mexico, huh?

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

No, please! Go on, I'd love to hear about this Titian person. What was it about his colors?

[Thor is genuinely interested. He loves learning about humans, he's found, especially if he's to live as one while he's here.]

Yes, though I didn't exactly choose the location. I was sort of ... thrown down to Earth after my father banished me from Asgard.

[thegreatexperiment]

[Oy vey.]

Daddy drama? I hear you on that...

What happened?

[Because she just can't talk about Titian, right now.]

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

[Thor wants to ask about the painter again, but it's clear she'd rather not talk about it. If Thor learned anything from Jane, it's not to push a matter someone keeps avoiding, so ..

He'll happily talk about all of the Aesir drama.]

I was being stupid, honestly. I didn't see it at the time, as you don't often do, but my father could see it. The Frost Giants came and tried to steal this ... Casket thing. Ancient relic, very important. My father had taken it when he'd defeated the Frost Giant Leader many, many years ago.

I'm prepared to wage war on the Frost Giants again as they've intruded into Asgard, attempted to steal their relic, and reignited old tensions. My father told me not to go, but .. I was stupid, and arrogant, and proud, and so I went, anyway. I took my brother, Sif, and the Warriors Three with me. It ... didn't go so well, and my father had to come and rescue us.

My punishment for all that was to be banished to Midgard with my beloved Mjolnir, my hammer, but without my powers to properly wield it. He made me mortal until I learned my lesson.

In his defense, the tactic worked. And I discovered what Pop Tarts are, and I met my ex-girlfriend, Jane, there, so it really wasn't all bad. Even if we broke up. Because I disappeared a lot. For ... months at a time. Without explanation. Totally mutual breakup.

[thegreatexperiment]

Wow. That's...

[Complicated. Complicated is the word she's looking for. Except she can more or less follow it. Side effect of being a sci-fi fan, or something.

Of course, she has a million follow-up questions, but most of them are fucking rude at this particular point.]

Well. Mazel tov on discovering Pop Tarts. They're pretty awesome.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

I know. I was stupid, and I admit it.

Of course, it didn't matter since my stupid sister came back from Hel and destroyed Mjolnir anyway. That's still fresh.

[And it still makes him sad.]

They are! I only had a few flavors, but I very much enjoyed them. Do you have a favorite?

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh geez. I haven't thought about Pop Tarts in years.

Probably blueberry frosted? I got a thing for shit that's blue.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Blueberry frosted. I believe that's one of the flavors I had! Strawberry, blueberry, and .. chocolate? Or brown sugar? It was brown, that's all I remember.

There was nothing in them that tasted natural, and yet, they were delicious.

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh man.

You should try Cheetos.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

[Consider his interest piqued.]

What are those? They sound most intriguing.

[thegreatexperiment]

I think they might be Styrofoam, but they taste like cheese.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Styrofoam?

I do remember eating cheese, however. It was very good, although it made my throat feel weird.

[thegreatexperiment]

The weirdness is worth it. Trust me.

If we ever get any Cheetos here, I'll make sure you're the first to know.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

That would be most kind of you! I would appreciate that greatly. Thank you.