UN: Twilight Sparkles | @Everyone

[thegreatexperiment]

[Sam's taken to using the voice setting. Less obnoxious than text. And anyway, vampires don't show up in video. So her lovely, Midwestern voice rings out over the network.]

So, just wondering. Is anyone else in this clown rodeo as skeeved out by this "Secret Santa" missive as I am? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm bored as fuck. I'm gonna do it. Way more entertaining than counting the cracks in my ceiling. But seriously...what the hell are the Overlords going for here?

[She will never call them "Observers."]

A shitty morale boost? What the actual?

Or is it just me? Am I the only one being bombarded with this crap?

...just wondering.

[A pause.]

And, I mean, if people are jonesing to do Etsy nonsense, my birthday is January 8. Just saying.

((ooc: This post will not reveal who Sam got. Please warn in your header if your muse is revealing who they got, in case anyone wants to be surprised.))

Comments

[thegreatexperiment]

Wow. How are you not exhausted being so optimistic?

[skyward_eyes]

[He is. He's so tired of optimism. What he really could go for would be finding something to break and demolishing it. Because he's tired and he's freaking out and this is all a bit much. But that gets no one anywhere.]

The doctor gave me tea to help with sleep, so I always get as much as I need to stay pretty and cheerful?

[thegreatexperiment]

[She laughs. It's an awkward sound. Like a rusty hinge. Not like she gets a lot of practice laughing around here.]

I'll buy cheerful.

I'll have to see your face to decide on "pretty."

Video - FormerPilot

[skyward_eyes]

[Well now that was entirely fair. Not that he necessarily cares about being considered pretty, but hey, why not? Got to live with these people and he got a laugh so he'll go with it. quickly combs his fingers through his hair to make sure it's roughly presentable and then positions the wrist band and turns on the video function.]

Alright then. Give me a ranking, scale of 1 to 10. I warn you, I have a delicate ego.

[The smirk says he is being so completely sarcastic there.]

Please be gentle?

[thegreatexperiment]

[Although she remains in voice mode, she gives him a quick once-over. And nods a little bit.]

I'll give you a solid eight. Would be an easy nine, in a different context. One that involved actual pharmaceuticals and decent bathrooms.

[skyward_eyes]

[Okay, now you've got a curious look on his face.]

Pharmaceuticals? You think drugs in a bathroom are going to make me prettier? I know bathrooms have acoustics that make people sound better, but I've never heard that they make people look better.

[Congratulations, he does not understand at all. But hey, he's still smiling over an eight.]

I'm told I've got a pretty forgettable face back home. So hey, free morale boost right there. How about we elect you our morale officer?

[thegreatexperiment]

I think that may be the worst idea I've ever heard.

[A pause.]

And to clarify, I meant "pharmaceuticals" as in things like decent soap and makeup, dude. Although, if drugs are your thing, you do you.

[skyward_eyes]

I'm pretty much as anti-drugs as they get. I've never heard soap and makeup referred to as pharmaceuticals though.

Though I will give you that my eyelashes look amazing with mascara.

[Please don't ask him how he knows. He would rather not remember that specific mission. Just... just take it as a given.]

[thegreatexperiment]

And who among us doesn't look better with a little eyeliner? I mean, seriously.

[skyward_eyes]

I'm not sure I can come up with someone. Well... No, I can. We have a race on my planet called the Shumi. I mean, they aren't 'among us,' but they would not look good with it.

Granted they have really bad fashion sense but that's what you've got.

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh, so you're a space man? Cool.

You got a name?

[skyward_eyes]

Not a space man.

[And since he hasn't turned video off, there is definitely a flash of disappointment on his face at that statement. He wanted to go to space.]

I'm Nida. And you? Or should I call you "Miss Birthday On The Eight"? Because that doesn't roll of the tongue.

[thegreatexperiment]

It also may not be my actual birthday. So let's go with "Sam."

[She's long since given up on trying to figure out a surname. The whole situation is just too messy.]

[skyward_eyes]

Alright, Sam. I can respect it's not your actual birthday. Never really understood the fuss over them.

Granted they weren't something we did much back where I was.

[thegreatexperiment]

I was adopted. You spend the first nine years of your life in foster care, you desperately need things like birthdays.

Anything to feel special, for a little while.

[And the joke is on her, really. She's more special than she ever cared to be.]

So tell me about your planet. Are there flying cars? Please tell me there are flying cars.

Voice: UN - FormerPilot

[skyward_eyes]

[Adopted. Yeah, Nida's expression was one of pain before he fumbled for the video button to return it to voice. Last thing he wanted to do was to clearly show his jealousy.]

What do you want for your birthday? I don't have a lot of skills, but I'm learning to carve wood. But, you know, people like us need to stick together, right?

[Another pause but he's got to say it.]

People who lost their parents and all that. I hope your adopted family was great.

[Yeah, maybe there is a touch of jealousy in his voice. Sorry. You know what, he's just going to move on to the other question.]

Only Esthar City has flying cars. But I was the primary pilot for a flying building.

[thegreatexperiment]

[Whoa. She didn't mean to stumble into someone's weird area. But, of course, Sam has a natural gift for being obnoxious and disliked. It's only that, for once, she wasn't doing it on purpose.

So she decides to let most of that go. Was her adoptive family great? Yes. They were. But that's all past tense now. And as for her birthday, she mostly just wants impossible things.

Stick with the best part of it all...]

A flying building? You're gonna have to back up and explain that one.

[skyward_eyes]

[You never know when you're going to trip over an orphan. Sorry.]

The place I went to school, such as it was, was built from the ruins of a shelter from another civilization. The Centran people. They had some really interesting tech, we don't entirely understand how it works. What I do know is that the structure compartmentalized well, was mostly water proof and partially buoyant, and had anti-grav and propulsion rings.

So basically the whole building could fly a bit. Well, more like hover because it couldn't get very high off the ground. To fly you've really got to look at the Ragnarok. It was good in atmo and in space.

[thegreatexperiment]

I have no idea what that means, but I loved every word of that last bit.

[She laughs again.]

Sorry. It's just that we don't have any tech nearly that fucking cool back home. Or at all, really, any more.

[skyward_eyes]

Yeah. A whole military school that can more or less fly. It's pretty intensively cool.

[thegreatexperiment]

Military school? So does that make you a soldier?

[skyward_eyes]

Not... exactly. Paramilitary is more accurate. Mercenary.

[thegreatexperiment]

Mercenary.

[She honestly can't decide if that's better or worse. Hunters are mercenaries, after all. But he's from another planet. What are the odds that he's into killing vampires, really?

Who knows...]

How'd you come into that line of work?

[skyward_eyes]

[And there, a sigh. Because there's no real way to explain it past the truth.]

Not everyone gets adopted. Or fostered. There were three of these places built after a major war. And kids end up in them. Some go on to the elite parts of the merc program. Some graduate out and go to militaries or the real world.

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh.

[Good job, Samantha. She cringes a little.]

Sorry.