UN: Twilight Sparkles | @Everyone

[thegreatexperiment]

[Sam's taken to using the voice setting. Less obnoxious than text. And anyway, vampires don't show up in video. So her lovely, Midwestern voice rings out over the network.]

So, just wondering. Is anyone else in this clown rodeo as skeeved out by this "Secret Santa" missive as I am? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm bored as fuck. I'm gonna do it. Way more entertaining than counting the cracks in my ceiling. But seriously...what the hell are the Overlords going for here?

[She will never call them "Observers."]

A shitty morale boost? What the actual?

Or is it just me? Am I the only one being bombarded with this crap?

...just wondering.

[A pause.]

And, I mean, if people are jonesing to do Etsy nonsense, my birthday is January 8. Just saying.

((ooc: This post will not reveal who Sam got. Please warn in your header if your muse is revealing who they got, in case anyone wants to be surprised.))

Comments

[thegreatexperiment]

Fake math is all I have left, Hot Dog Man.

[oorah]

OK i'll give it to you. that is exactly 367% depressing.

[thegreatexperiment]

I so love being right.

[oorah]

it's not worth much in this place but i guess it still feels good, doesn't it?

wonder how they decided what we're giving who.

[thegreatexperiment]

I'm sure there's some scientific method involved. Programming to see how different individuals react to stimuli from different people.

Or maybe they're just having a laugh at our expense.

[oorah]

yeah i'm thinking it's closer to that. all that test tube shit is probably just for show.

[thegreatexperiment]

And the lists too.

Just to prove that they can hurt us. If they want.

[oorah]

something like that.

[thegreatexperiment]

Good thing we see right through that shit.

The joke's on them.

[Except that it's not. Luckily, Sam's forlorn expression isn't on camera.]

[oorah]

some of us do.

doesn't make a difference unless they show themselves tho

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh, they probably know better than to do that. Given what we'd do to them.

What do you think? Would Overlords make good fishing bait?

[oorah]

maybe. or maybe it's some spooky scifi shit. they might not even have corporeal bodies.

i'd rather toss em to the wendigo myself if not

[thegreatexperiment]

That sounds very, very satisfying.

[oorah]

only if we get to film it so everyone can see

[thegreatexperiment]

Of course. And there should probably be popcorn or Cheetos or something.

[oorah]

i make popcorn. a lot of it. those asshats gave me a popcorn machine not like i can think of a reason why they would.

[thegreatexperiment]

Reward for some behavior they liked?

[Of course, he doesn't seem like the people-pleasing type...]

[oorah]

[ you might not think so, but that's exactly what he is. just not creepy authority figures. the other people here though? he'd do just about anything for. ]

or just another way to make me go WTF

[thegreatexperiment]

Probably.

But hey, now we can have a decent movie night. We'll just have to dress up Peter and Tony and force them to reenact scenes from The Karate Kid for us.

[oorah]

add danny to the mix and i'm in

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh, definitely. He's got the moves for it. And the hero face.

[oorah]

what's a hero face? don't those guys usually wear masks?

[thegreatexperiment]

No, no. Not "superhero." Just...hero. Like in the movies.

I'm from LA. It means good-looking. I guess.

[Did she really just say that in public? Yikes...]

[oorah]

guess i see it. maybe you should tell him that.

[ or he'll eventually stumble on this... eh. ]

[thegreatexperiment]

Or I could take it to the grave.

The second time.