sixthiterationtexts | UN: ReforgedWings

Like knows like, Seifer. Like I recognized Reyes for what he was almost the second we met. But no, I'm not concerned. There's... something different between what they are and what I am. They're not a threat to anyone here, I think. Altair and Malik really want things to be better here, and Desmond hates what he was born to. I don't know about the other two so much. Three now.

[More concern about what Seifer actually was shitposting about. People having sex on rooftops.]

Mmm, I suppose you've got a point. Still, don't think they're gonna start causin' trouble?

[He can respect those things, still somewhat nervous about the idea. Though if Nida says they want things to be better he'll have to hope he's right. After all, he and Nida are soldiers who don't want to do any of that anymore. So maybe it's not that different.

Now he totally has more reason to post about rooftop sex see?]

[But... there's a moment where he's skimmed past one of Nida's messages. Yeah it's rude to read but how can he miss it? Initially touched by his comment of family coming first, he's immediately made distinctly aware that he himself is a terrible piece of shit by Jason's follow-up. Is that what's going on here? Pity, and Nida thinking he has to reassure him? The guilt twists his stomach furiously and any chance he was going to have enough appetite to eat dinner for a change goes right out the window.]

...You know you don't have to stay if you have other plans. Right? This fooling around isn't worth taking up your time.

[He'd much rather Nida go enjoy time with Billy. As it's suddenly become painfully evident that Seifer's an awful, selfish person and the worst brother that could ever exist. Suddenly he doesn't have the stomach for fun anymore. The guilt is too much.]

You're my other plans.

[He rolls onto his side to consider his brother, eye to eye. Which means that yeah, neither of them can use the device because it's pinned between Nida and the bed now. Stop hiding from him, Seifer.]

Family is first, and you're my family. There is no one else other than this other stray I've adopted. Because he's like us. Well trained by a man who intended to use him for his own end, who didn't care when the guy got killed, who hated him doing the right thing to stop suffering. You're my absolute first priority. Before anyone and anything else here. I would die for you, Seifer, because that is what family does. And I've been neglecting you because of Billy, because of Rinoa, because of all of this. But you're my brother and I care about you.

[Eye to eye doesn't last long, because he's ashamed and doesn't want Nida to see the guilt there and feel worse. So he's quick to glance away, uncomfortable. If it's pity he'd like to know. Hates pity.

There's someone else?]

I don't know what family does. [Apparently abandon and kill him, if history is to be taken into account.] Listen, I'm not a pet I don't need babysitting. If you want to go hang out with Billy then don't let me get in the way of that. I'm not here to get in between you or in the way and I'm gonna be pissed if you're doing that thinking I can't handle it.

[He's not that weak, Nida. If Nida has places he'd rather be then he shouldn't be wasting his time with this loser who can't control his own hurt feelings. Has no right to it. He's a piece of shit for even feeling that way and he knows it.]

Wow. I suddenly get why Fujin kicked you so much. What an idiot. Seriously, I might have to get in on that action too. Because right now I don't want to go hang out with my boyfriend. I have to figure out a date first, and we've got a rule. I've got no impulse control which means around him I want him. And around you, I just want to shake you because you're my brother and you don't seem to get it.

[He does shift on the bed though. Entirely to lay even more of his weight on Seifer.]

I'm here for you, Seifer. Family comes first and you're all I've got. My parents are dead, Seifer. They were going to give me a little brother you know. But they died. So instead I'm stealing a brother for myself.

[He heaves a long, frustrated sound through his nose. Don't kick him Nida, shin kicks hurt. And it'll make him miss Fujin all the more.] You mean it? 'Cause that conversation with your friend makes it sound like you're here outta obligation. That you're here 'cause you think you gotta pamper my fuckin' ego and I don't want that. I don't wanna be the thing between you and bein' happy you get that right?

[Because being his brother also means being supportive. He thought he had been, now he's not so sure. Now he feels guilty that he's anxious about being unwanted. Which only makes him more anxious and more worried, then more guilty because he really has no right to feel that way. If he had a switch he'd turn it off he really would.]

[Oof. Guess he's not going to escape even if he'd been considering trying to.]

...I'm sorry. [That he's not good enough to be that brother.] I don't think I'm very good at it.

[He's been trying his hardest. Thinks all he does is fuck up.]

Still. If you didn't want to bother with me anymore I'd understand. It's just how it works for me.

[Maybe a tiny hint into why he keeps acting like this.]

Seifer... when have I ever given a fuck about your ego? Did you miss the fact that we just had a laughing, knock down, wrestling battle over my wrist device? Do you think I do that with just anyone? Do you think I let just anyone near me when I'm unarmed? I've got tanbo now, Seifer, I'm always armed unless I'm around you. Because you're my brother and I trust you.

[It's a serious statement, a serious offering to Seifer. That he trusts Seifer in ways he doesn't trust others. That might have to change with Billy, but it matters.]

Seifer Almasy, I want to bother with you. This has been a roller coaster since we got here. And even with everything, you are always there for me. Stupid aggressive dancing. Living together. Cooking together. Getting lectured for getting hurt? That's you and me and that's family and I'm not giving that up. Ever. You're stuck with me. Run all you want, I've got damn good endurance.

Well... no. [And it had been fun, and ridiculous. Completely stupid he'd been having a blast. Now here he is unsure if it's a facade and he's just a fuck up deep down, not doing things right. That Nida would much rather be anywhere but there dealing with his mess. Slowly he nods, that much he does see and understand.] I trust you too.

[And that's why it would hurt so much more if Nida were lying to him. Please don't be, Nida, he'd be devastated.]

[A resigned, huffed laugh. He does offer a lot of good points.]

I don't want to run. This is the first time in my life outside of Fujin and Raijin I've actually felt like maybe I'm wanted. But I want you to promise me you're not going to skip out on opportunities just 'cause you think I'll be hurt. I'd rather see you happy, and I'll be pissed if you do that.

I'll try not to skip out on opportunities because I'm thinking about you and your needs. But like I said, family comes first so I can't make any promises. Not really. I'd hate to break my word to you. But I'm happy around you too, Seifer. If it wasn't weird as fuck and I wasn't so into Billy, I'd be really concerned about the risks of falling for your arrogant ass. Yeah, I know, you don't believe me. Whatever.

[Still, he feels like... Honesty time, right?]

To be honest? I think that being here is about the happiest I've ever been. But I feel like being here with Billy and without you would hurt more than being here with you and without him. So stop underestimating your value to me.

You know Hyne-damned well I'm too much of a fucking mess for that anyway. I'll accept family.

[Were the hurdles not there it might have been a possibility. But family is even better. More stable, more permanent. He hopes. He's just wanted to belong somewhere and for once, finally, he feels like he might be able to have that.]

[Honesty time is a good time. A slow nod, he understands.]

Well I don't wanna go anywhere that's for sure. I'll try to stop bein' so paranoid about it. Burned a lot, it ain't your fault I know that. Hard not to keep expecting the worst.

[After all even Cid and Matron gave up on him, threw him away. Didn't want him. When no one wants you after a point you really start to understand that no one's going to.]

I really am happy you and Billy finally got together, you know that right?

[Because he's been trying to make it very clear that he's supportive here.]

Trust me, Seifer. I get being burned a lot. I didn't even have friends before coming here, no really. And you've been closer to having family than I've ever had.

Besides... you're better than the 'heroes' I know. You're far more interesting and more invested in me as me and my needs than Squall's group.

[He finally rolls back onto his back and smiles. Yeah. He gets the supportive.]

I adore him. But I don't want to talk about him right now. Tonight's family night. Which means you. And means Jason. We're adopting him. He can be our older little brother.

We're both gettin' things we never had before here. I'm glad you stuck it out with me.
[Family, friends, belonging. So what if the power situation is weird and they don't really know what to do with themselves? They have each other this time. He still feels a little bad with how he'd reacted to Nida at the start, though he thinks he understands. It was a weird time for them both.]

[That, however, gets a softly huffed laugh.]

Kinda miss out on what's happening when you only look at the big picture.

[It's why he sucks as a soldier.]

Alright. Tell me about this Jason. Do I need to be jealous?

[This time he's teasing. Nida's effectively reassured him that he's not being the unsupportive asshole that he thought he might be.]

Well, he's slightly more handsome than you are, so yeah, if we ever find any bars here, he might get numbers more than you do.

[And just like that, teasing warmth. Nida slides into that more easily with Seifer than he does with other people except for Billy, and Seifer doesn't even get that.]

But there's only so much I can say about him. His history is fucked and that's coming from me. That's... that's knowing what I know about us. Yeah, he had his parents longer, but the guy died. Explosion when he was younger than us, after being tortured. He came back, I haven't exactly gotten that story yet, but so much of his history mirrors ours. People failing him, family disappointing him, abandonment things. Like us.

[He's a bit more hesitant about this next thing...]

You should meet him, make your own opinions. I've brought him on to teach hand to hand at the dojo, and he's good.

What? That's a filthy lie, no one's more handsome than me. You take that back.

[Huff. Okay yes he's just being dramatic for entertainment purposes he doesn't actually believe that... Completely. Arrogant bastard. Seifer doesn't get it, well alright he kind of gets it as he doesn't exactly open up to other people the way he does with Nida either. Siblings, right?]

[Wince.] Tortured? [That sure brings back some unpleasant memories. Ones he has no desire to delve into.] Shit. Sure he didn't grow up in Garden?

[Hnnn. He looks dubious. Billy's one thing. This new replacement brother on the other hand... Less eager to meet the person who might immediately show him up and end up with another Squall situation. Then he really will have to go be a hermit in the mountains.]

...Maybe. I guess it couldn't hurt.

[He allows cautiously. He's only letting Nida get away with this because Nida. Anyone else he'd have told to fuck off.]

[Not a replacement. Additional. Math. It's better with more.]

Well, it's combat practice and I'm not green right now, so it actually could hurt. But yeah, he really sounds like a Garden kid, right? And he wants to meet you. We've talked about it.

[It's never that simple. Soon enough Nida will figure out that Seifer's not worth his time, and he'll have someone better in the ranks. Easy replacement.]

Tch, like that's ever stopped me. [The green powers are a nice boon, but not a sticking point with him.] Does he? [Dubiously.] I find that hard to believe.

I want the two of you to meet, when you can get a chance. Because I know you and he could be good for each other. After you get past the territorial cats phase.

That sounds more honest. [He can accept it, he just prefers the truth.] Tch, I don't act like a cat. [Yes he does.] Why are you so insistent about this?

Because...

[Damn, message from Jason. Oh well.]

Maybe you'll see. Read this while I type to him, okay?

UN: ReforgedWings

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