UN : The Mechanic

[nonstopnarcissist]

Right, tech wishlists, drop them here. Try to keep these things reasonable. I'm a genius but not a miracle worker.

Comments

[freightcars]

They're god damn everywhere
Bottom of the ocean, middle of an active volcano, space? Tardigrades.
Nuke the fucking planet into orbit, Tardigrades.

That's Hydra.
Doesn't matter if it's Justin Hammer or whoever that other guy is.
Doesn't matter if you're putting out industrial-sized holy water misters for the god damn catholic church, someone in Hydra would find a way to steal it and make it spit out fire instead of water.

So don't think about it too hard.

[nonstopnarcissist]

Do you have any idea how hard I worked to make my shit impossible to replicate? To repurpose?

For that very fucking reason? How much bullshit legislation I sidestepped or invented to keep Stark Tech out of the wrong hands?

Not just me either, Howard did the same. He was so fucking thorough you're a walking patent infringement case from hell.

1/3

[freightcars]

Yeah, and yet here I am
All the safeguards and copyright laws in the world and I still

2/3

[freightcars]

What I'm trying to say is it's not

3/3

[freightcars]

Never mind
Forget I said anything

[nonstopnarcissist]

It's real hard to climb on my cross if you keep taking my damn nails, Barnes.

[freightcars]

No idea what that's supposed to mean
I do know that Christ guy has more buildings with his name on it than you but that's probably not what this is about

[nonstopnarcissist]

I'm...calling myself a martyr. It's supposed to be self aware and shit.


...look I'm not used to people not blaming me. Deviations from the norm make me twitchy.

[freightcars]

I'm sorry, let me come at this another way

How dare you
5 hail marys and if you're feeling extra repentant my bubbe might like a tefillah.

[nonstopnarcissist]

Sure, let me draw out enough wire to make a rosary and I'll get right on that.

[freightcars]

add it to your list
put it above the flat iron, god is watching.

[nonstopnarcissist]

God before vanity? It'll be delicate work, shouldn't take more than a day if I can find the die.

[freightcars]

Hallelujah.
After that if you could start on the wifi you might deliver us after all.

[nonstopnarcissist]

Coffee before wifi. That'll take a few engineering binges and I need to be awake for those.

[freightcars]

You figure THAT shit out and I'll definitely get you some scotch

[nonstopnarcissist]

Coffee? It's a supply issue, no one has the plant. The roasting process is pretty straightforward, I can make a grinder in about two hours.

A moka pot might take a day, unless I find some good sand and brush up on my glass blowing.

[freightcars]

Can't help you with the glass blowing, but I can get you some sand.
Which means jack squat because we still don't got the plant, so
SOL

[nonstopnarcissist]

There might be something roughly similar that occurs naturally.

[freightcars]

Oh hell, don't go down that route
You wouldn't be the first
Some of the shit that grows here makes an acid trip look like candy land
They've got flowers here that turn you into a literal lightning rod
Don't even get me started on the salt

[nonstopnarcissist]

Wait what now? Like, lightening is more likely to strike you, or you produce electricity?

[freightcars]

Both. Makes you kind of an immune conductor, too.
You can't go within ten feet of anyone without risking a nice defibrillation.
We had a sudden crop of it spring up a while back, a few people almost died.

[nonstopnarcissist]

I'm adding portable faraday cage to the list.

Sounds like it could be useful but not without some safety precautions taken.

[freightcars]

Guess if anyone could figure it out
As someone with a metal arm let me be the first to steer clear when you start experimenting with it.

[nonstopnarcissist]

You'd just need a rubber glove. Sleeve. Thing.

[freightcars]

arm condom

[ which he might be in the market for
cough, Liv. ]