UN: Antivan Lover

[ombranera]

[ BEHOLD, Zevran lounging, somewhat, dressed comfortably as he's settled by the fire, wrist angled just so to make his angles all the more artful as he makes his most somber of faces into the camera. ]

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Village.

[ The face drops and now, well, he is all smiles. ]

Is it just me or is place full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque warriors, lithe scholars, voluptuous women, people in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, those in charge of this place must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow villagers. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would kiss them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now if they so wished", how would you rate the beautiful people of our Village?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Kate - Such poise, such fire, such compassion to continue to feed the village every day for our luncheon meal, never asking thanks or consideration for her labors. She gives of her heart and her skills, minding the fires and tending to our lonely souls. A flame in the dark, she with glimmering eyes and so sweet a voice- and fiery temper, who wouldn't wish to spend a time by the hearth with her?

Shiro - A gallant man indeed, with a keen eye and a warm heart that seems terribly unaware of his own beauty, which is all the more a shame. He has a face that looks as though it were sculpted by artists, a broad strength to him that is beguiling- and a quiet sorrow that is enticing. Perhaps a night or two in pleasing company might lift his spirits? It is certainly worth a shot!

Anne - Now here is a woman with a taste for the finer things in life. She knows what it is that she wants and takes no prisoners in finding a way to get it. The fall of her hair, the flash of her eyes, the wicked curve of her lips? It does get the blood pumping, that is certain. She, well. She I would ask the favor of her favor and content myself with whatever I received.

Altaïr - For a man that certainly turns many a head without noticing, I must admit, I am baffled. How can one be so lovely and so utterly unaware of it? Has he not seen himself? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the weight of wisdom; he I would have right now if he understood my flirtations.

[ OH WAIT HE ALMOST FORGOT TWO MORE ]

Elektra - Someone so fine, so fit, so lovely- with a richness to her voice and a mystery to her poise- ah, she brings to mind a Bard from Orlais, or any discerning lady of the Antivan Court. Someone with a beauty such as hers should be captured by painters, lauded by poets, she ought to turn the eye of a great many in the village. Were she free and of a mind? I'd lose days to her company.

Steven - Never before have I seen so quietly carved an adonis- with piercing eyes and skin so fair it does make one wonder how deeply he might blush- shoulders so broad and a waist so trim? I would climb him like a tree to rid him of this cloud of sorrow that clings to his shoulders. Perhaps he needs the right distraction, yes? And I am ever so good at being distracting.

Comments

[scathefires]

[he bites down on the impulse to ask her when she’s going to join in the shirtless wood-chopping movement and instead huffs a quiet laugh in response to her question.]

You’ve met me. Do I really seem like the shy type?

[hmm. suddenly, jason has a feeling he doesn’t like where this turn in the conversation is taking them.]

What’s this all about?

[spoileralert]

Nothing! Nothing at all.

Just something the horny elf said.

[ But she is definitely going to wheedle a truthful answer out of him, and/or ask again in person. ]

[scathefires]

Something he said about me?

[steph ... what did you do.]

[spoileralert]

More like what he didn't say about you.

But don't worry! I fixed it.

[scathefires]

[oh no.]

What didn’t he say and how did you fix it?

[spoileralert]

He didn't know who you were! But now you're on the list. It's cool.

1/2

[scathefires]

... Steph.

[scathefires]

Please tell me you did not add me to this godforsaken hot-or-not list.

[spoileralert]

[ In the most innocent of voices: ]

If that will make you happy, sure! I didn’t add you to the hot or not list.

[scathefires]

[the next sound from jason is a frustrated groan, muffled through his hands.]

Why would you do this to me? I’ve already had to fend off one dude here who was looking for a hookup.

[spoileralert]

Because I’m just barely 18 and that freaks a lot of people out. I gotta live vicariously through someone.

[scathefires]

[you’re gonna put grey in his hair, steph.]

Well, sorry to say, but it ain’t gonna be me. If you’re eighteen, you’re old enough to be considered an adult pretty much everywhere, and besides, it’s not like there’s any actual age of consent laws here.

[or any laws at all, or any kind of law enforcement. which is fine by jason. cops are useless assholes, for the most part.]

I’m not interested in random hookups with strangers who’ve just got an itch to scratch. Call me old-fashioned, but I think your first time out oughta be with someone you care about - or at least with someone you’ve talked with more than once.

[spoileralert]

[ Listen Jason you are preaching to the choir here. She would really like a belated rebound, okay? But more importantly- ]

I'm sorry, say that again?

[scathefires]

[whoops.]

Which part?

belatedly private

[spoileralert]

The part about you being a virgin?

[ Steph is as surprised as she is scandalized. ]

private is a good idea

[scathefires]

[oh, right. he just announced that in open air, didn’t he. double whoops.]

So? It’s not that big of a deal. I’ve never kissed anyone or been on a date, either.

private

[spoileralert]

Oh my god.

[ SHE’S MORE EXPERIENCED THAN HIM AT SOMETHING??? ]

Oh my god that’s adorable! No, of course it’s not a bad thing! I mean, that’s how you end up with a baby you can’t take care of. I just assumed— like, how has nobody snatched that up yet?

private

[scathefires]

[jason’s face just lives in his hands now, thanks.]

I’ve been a little busy, Steph. You know, spending all my free time training and busting bad guys? Getting killed? Coming back to Gotham and - you know what, it doesn’t matter. I’m not good with people. Who in their right mind would want to -

[love me, he wants to say, but it feels a little too sharp in his mouth, so he hesitates, picks a different set of words instead.]

Get mixed up with someone like me. Nah, trust me - it’s better if I don’t get involved with anyone.

Re: private

[spoileralert]

Jason...

[ How does one say “I’d date you” without sounding like you’re asking for a date? ]

You’re a decent guy with a good heart. That goes a long way. Trust me, a little danger is a small price to pay for a guy who’s actually worth the time of day.

And you’re not that bad with people. You managed okay with me when a friend was the last thing I wanted.

private

[scathefires]

[if only he could believe with even a fraction of steph's conviction that he's worth the time of day. but it's pointless to argue, and it would only make him sound like a goddamn emo teenager. he defaults instead toward his usual shitty bantering humor.]

Dead Robins gotta stick together. Sorry, I don't make the rules.

[but it's nice that she considers him a friend. he could definitely benefit from having a friend.]

private

[spoileralert]

[ Steph's- and she expects most girls'- standards for 'decent' are pretty low. Jason just doesn't appreciate how crappy guys who aren't technically dangerous can still be. She also expects that she'll have to explain that to him at some point: You don't need to be a knight in shining armor. Even just opening the door for someone is pretty nice.

But now is not that time, and she gives a sad little snort of laughter. ]

I didn't consider myself a real Robin either, you know.

private

[scathefires]

[jason makes a quiet huffing sound, close to a laugh but not quite.]

I don’t care what Batman or anyone else said. You wore the colors - that makes you a real Robin. And since I’m the only other ex-Robin in this discussion, I’d say that means I do get to make that rule.

private

[spoileralert]

[ She gives a satisfied sort of sigh. ]

Yeah, you know? I'm starting to suspect that Batman might just be a bit of an ass.

[ She knew that for sure once. That helps. ]

private

[scathefires]

He’s a lot of an ass. Take it from someone who lived with him.

private

[spoileralert]

I still can't wrap my head around that. I mean, Tim was definitely not adopted.