sixthiterationtexts | UN: Antivan Lover

[ BEHOLD, Zevran lounging, somewhat, dressed comfortably as he's settled by the fire, wrist angled just so to make his angles all the more artful as he makes his most somber of faces into the camera. ]

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Village.

[ The face drops and now, well, he is all smiles. ]

Is it just me or is place full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque warriors, lithe scholars, voluptuous women, people in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, those in charge of this place must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow villagers. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would kiss them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now if they so wished", how would you rate the beautiful people of our Village?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Kate - Such poise, such fire, such compassion to continue to feed the village every day for our luncheon meal, never asking thanks or consideration for her labors. She gives of her heart and her skills, minding the fires and tending to our lonely souls. A flame in the dark, she with glimmering eyes and so sweet a voice- and fiery temper, who wouldn't wish to spend a time by the hearth with her?

Shiro - A gallant man indeed, with a keen eye and a warm heart that seems terribly unaware of his own beauty, which is all the more a shame. He has a face that looks as though it were sculpted by artists, a broad strength to him that is beguiling- and a quiet sorrow that is enticing. Perhaps a night or two in pleasing company might lift his spirits? It is certainly worth a shot!

Anne - Now here is a woman with a taste for the finer things in life. She knows what it is that she wants and takes no prisoners in finding a way to get it. The fall of her hair, the flash of her eyes, the wicked curve of her lips? It does get the blood pumping, that is certain. She, well. She I would ask the favor of her favor and content myself with whatever I received.

Altaïr - For a man that certainly turns many a head without noticing, I must admit, I am baffled. How can one be so lovely and so utterly unaware of it? Has he not seen himself? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the weight of wisdom; he I would have right now if he understood my flirtations.

[ OH WAIT HE ALMOST FORGOT TWO MORE ]

Elektra - Someone so fine, so fit, so lovely- with a richness to her voice and a mystery to her poise- ah, she brings to mind a Bard from Orlais, or any discerning lady of the Antivan Court. Someone with a beauty such as hers should be captured by painters, lauded by poets, she ought to turn the eye of a great many in the village. Were she free and of a mind? I'd lose days to her company.

Steven - Never before have I seen so quietly carved an adonis- with piercing eyes and skin so fair it does make one wonder how deeply he might blush- shoulders so broad and a waist so trim? I would climb him like a tree to rid him of this cloud of sorrow that clings to his shoulders. Perhaps he needs the right distraction, yes? And I am ever so good at being distracting.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I shall have to take your word for it.

I'm not saying you have to like him. Just... maybe do it for me? I live with the guy, and somebody should be getting some action. I'm turning into the crazy cat lady. I'm gasping in the desert that was once my social life. I barely remember what a healthy relationship looks like.

I'm really really homesick and my boyfriend left me after I died.

...I hate to be callus but- you died. Unless you magically resurrected back home, if that is in fact a thing- its what one does. You mourn your loved ones, you move on.

Typically after swearing some manner of vengeance.

I know, I just... It's complicated. He showed up here a while ago, and it wasn't like he'd moved on.

[ But she can't exactly explain why without going into a big long story. ]

It doesn't matter, we're not talking about me! We're talking about Jason and how badly he needs someone to knock some sense into him.

That...does sound complicated.

Generally the cure for an ass is incentive not to be an ass.

I don't know about you, but a cute guy's always been pretty good incentive for me.

If you think a compelling woman or man would be enough, the trick is finding the right one.

And then convincing them to put up with him until he gets his head out of his ass.

Wynonna did say she makes a lot of questionable romantic choices. I don't know most of the other women around here very well.

Wynonna is a wanton delight of a woman, do you truly think that would suit him so well, considering his earlier contempt?

What?

[ What contem— oh. ]

No, no. He’s just not a fan of one night stands. He’s, you know, romantic. Apparently. Though he does make a good point about condoms...

If he actually does have a problem with people enjoying sex I’ll break his nose myself. He trusts me, it won’t be hard.

And any soul romantic enough to meet his sentiment likely isn't willing to put up with his harsh demeanor.

What, no one has learned how to make one here? There are herbs for that as well.

[ She begs to differ, but ]

Really? For STDs, or are we just talking pregnancy? ‘Cause I’m definitely interested in both. One unwanted pregnancy was more than enough for me.

...You have had a strange and stressful life, Mia Bella.

But yes, these things can be made, can be managed.

[ SHRUG ]

That’s Gotham.

Now if only I had a good reason to use them.

There is no one in the village that would have you? Not a one?

Nobody that’s shown any interest. And I’m not exactly shy.

[ She huffs a frustrated sigh. ]

I don’t know, maybe I just don’t know how to flirt anymore. I have been kind of touchy since I died. Maybe I’m the one who needs help getting date.

[ She grimaces. She used to be the one fending off the boys, not sighing over them. ]

Since, apparently age is an issue- and you are clearly of age, and I know nothing of these things-

I am twenty and seven or eight years old. Do you wish someone for romance or someone for a roll in the hay?

[ ...Oh. Well she can’t say that was where she expected this conversation to end up. She blushes, but in embarrassed pride rather than shyness. ]

Um, yes?

But now I kinda feel like I have to say I’m not interested in a pity-screw. That’s not what this is about.

Perhaps instead I should offer you a massage. Occasionally contact is what the body wants but the most familiar means is lovemaking. It need not be so.

[ She would laugh about that, since she hasn’t had sex since the baby, but she already looks pretty unstable here. ]

I mean, I’m not a crazy person. I never say no to a massage. [ The humor fades, though. See, she’s aware that she’s misstepped, but that doesn’t do a lot of good after the fact. ]

It was just kind of out of the blue. Mostly we’ve been talking about how much you hate my friend and how depressing my life has been.

I did warn you. About me.

Hate requires more effort than I am willing to grant him. He is simply not someone I find to be worth my time. Because he is an ass.

Life is difficult for most. For women, all the more so, and unjustly at that. Perhaps we should speak of more pleasant things, yes?

[ She can't argue that. He has no idea how 'strange and stressful' her life has really been. She tries a smile. ]

Yeah, probably.

What d'you think a date would look like around here? Where I'm from you'd go to the movies, or out to a nice dinner or something. [ Or to the roof of the highest building of the city ]

UN: Antivan Lover

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