UN: Twilight Sparkles | @Everyone

[thegreatexperiment]

[Sam's taken to using the voice setting. Less obnoxious than text. And anyway, vampires don't show up in video. So her lovely, Midwestern voice rings out over the network.]

So, just wondering. Is anyone else in this clown rodeo as skeeved out by this "Secret Santa" missive as I am? I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm bored as fuck. I'm gonna do it. Way more entertaining than counting the cracks in my ceiling. But seriously...what the hell are the Overlords going for here?

[She will never call them "Observers."]

A shitty morale boost? What the actual?

Or is it just me? Am I the only one being bombarded with this crap?

...just wondering.

[A pause.]

And, I mean, if people are jonesing to do Etsy nonsense, my birthday is January 8. Just saying.

((ooc: This post will not reveal who Sam got. Please warn in your header if your muse is revealing who they got, in case anyone wants to be surprised.))

Comments

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Oh. Oh! Well, we all sort of have to do that, don't we? We all have to .. eat other things in order to stay alive. I've always called my brother a parasite, for example. Especially when we were children.

[thegreatexperiment]

Does he drink blood?

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

[He thinks about this.] No, I .. don't think I've ever seen him do that ..

Is that what you do? I'm learning so much! First I learned about zombies from Liv, and now about vampires from you!

[thegreatexperiment]

[She laughs. More uncomfortable than amused.]

Yeah, well, Liv and I kinda work together nicely. She gets the brains, I get the blood.

[A pause.]

Of animals. Not people.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

That is a very good system you've worked out.

I told Liv that I would bring her brains of things when I go out hunting; do you want me to bring you the blood? .. I'd have to figure out how, or you could tell me how, but I'd be happy to do so.

[thegreatexperiment]

[It is such a weird offer that she wants to refuse. But Sam knows better. Blood is hard to come by.]

Mason jars.

That would be...really nice. Thanks.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

You're most welcome! It makes no sense to throw it all away or waste it if it can be used instead, especially if it's to keep you animated, as you said.

I will find some mason jars and use them. Should I leave them at the Inn somewhere or should I bring them to you?

[thegreatexperiment]

Uh, I actually live at the Inn. You can usually find me in the kitchen. I manage our distillery.

[Not exactly something she wants to be proud of. But she is. She truly is.]

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

[There's a long, silent pause.]

.. Distillery? You .. make ..

Do you, by chance, know how to make mead?

[thegreatexperiment]

Mead? Like...the stuff at the Ren Faire?

[Sorry, Thor. That's her basis.]

I mean, in theory, it should be pretty simple. But I don't know that we have any honey.

If we did, I guess I could ferment it with some canned peaches.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

[His voice is quiet and reverent, like he's unwilling to disturb the dead.] I don't know what the Ren Faire is, but I will ... get you all the blood or whatever you want want, if you could figure that out.

I will also handle figuring out how to get the honey.

[thegreatexperiment]

[Well, this guy is going to be interesting.]

I'm happy to give it a shot. It's just basic chemistry.

I mean, I'm a biologist. But even a high school AP student could probably make it work, somehow.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

I don't know what any of that means. -- Oh! Wait! Biology! I think that is one of Bruce's pee-atche-dees that he's always talking about.

I cannot overstate how grateful I am for your willingness to try! Mead would bring a piece of home here, and I find that I am missing it greatly.

[thegreatexperiment]

A piece of home.

[There's a wistful smile in her voice.]

I get that. I really do.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

I was banished from my home once, by my father. I spent a lot of time on Midgard - Earth, rather. It made me yearn for the familiarities of home, and it feels very much like that again.

[thegreatexperiment]

Yeah. I've been away from home for a...long time. Too.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Where is home for you? Or do you mean Earth, generally? .. No one has been able to give me a direct answer as to whether or not we are currently on Earth.

[thegreatexperiment]

We don't know if we're on Earth or not. Probably not.

[A pause.]

Chicago. Home is Chicago.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

Someone suggested something called .. an alternate .. universe? I think that was the phrase. Alternate universe.

I heard of Chicago, though I never had the opportunity to go there myself. I have been to New York and New Mexico, and some places in between. What is it that you miss about Chicago?

[thegreatexperiment]

[Everything. She misses everything. The life that she used to have. The one she didn't appreciate.

But she's not going to say that to a weird stranger so...]

There was this museum. The Art Institute of Chicago. Beautiful, neoclassical structure. With two iron lions guarding the front door.

Inside, there were the most incredible paintings...

I could spend hours there and only see three fucking rooms.

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

It sounds like a most impressive place. Did you have a favorite painting? Or painter? That you always liked to see?

I'd seen little bits and pieces of your art when I was there, and throughout the centuries. It was a most incredible development.

[thegreatexperiment]

Oh, this guy named Titian who had amazing color--

[Why is she answering personal questions? This isn't her way.]

So, New Mexico, huh?

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

No, please! Go on, I'd love to hear about this Titian person. What was it about his colors?

[Thor is genuinely interested. He loves learning about humans, he's found, especially if he's to live as one while he's here.]

Yes, though I didn't exactly choose the location. I was sort of ... thrown down to Earth after my father banished me from Asgard.

[thegreatexperiment]

[Oy vey.]

Daddy drama? I hear you on that...

What happened?

[Because she just can't talk about Titian, right now.]

[assemble_the_lovbacken]

[Thor wants to ask about the painter again, but it's clear she'd rather not talk about it. If Thor learned anything from Jane, it's not to push a matter someone keeps avoiding, so ..

He'll happily talk about all of the Aesir drama.]

I was being stupid, honestly. I didn't see it at the time, as you don't often do, but my father could see it. The Frost Giants came and tried to steal this ... Casket thing. Ancient relic, very important. My father had taken it when he'd defeated the Frost Giant Leader many, many years ago.

I'm prepared to wage war on the Frost Giants again as they've intruded into Asgard, attempted to steal their relic, and reignited old tensions. My father told me not to go, but .. I was stupid, and arrogant, and proud, and so I went, anyway. I took my brother, Sif, and the Warriors Three with me. It ... didn't go so well, and my father had to come and rescue us.

My punishment for all that was to be banished to Midgard with my beloved Mjolnir, my hammer, but without my powers to properly wield it. He made me mortal until I learned my lesson.

In his defense, the tactic worked. And I discovered what Pop Tarts are, and I met my ex-girlfriend, Jane, there, so it really wasn't all bad. Even if we broke up. Because I disappeared a lot. For ... months at a time. Without explanation. Totally mutual breakup.