[One-Man Show] un: Watney | @everyone

[markwatney]

PLEASE CHECK IN WITH YOUR STATUS AND WHERE YOU ARE, EVEN IF YOU ARE SAFE IN THE VILLAGE.
If you are alone or otherwise need help, please specify as best you can so that we can send someone to reach you.

Comments

[nobroth]

[It gets a snort, though.]

Well, I do thank you for thinking of the condition of my pants.

[ombranera]

Someone must- you do not pay them enough mind.

[nobroth]

Apparently not, if they're sliding down my arse. Should I wear them down there, just for you?

[At which point he pauses. He...

...Huh. Apparently it's easier when he can't see someone. That's something new he's learned today.]

[ombranera]

So you can trip over the hems?

[ He doesn't mean it. He's never meant it- For all the supposed (actual) flirtations with Reeve and Zevran's own nudging to speak with the man again-

Alistair seems to have remained firmly on one side of the border. ]

[nobroth]

At least I'd be falling over something instead of nothing.

...And I just realised I won't be finding my way into any bear traps on this trip. Small blessings.

[Maybe it was because he couldn't immediately see the 'ugh he actually tried to flirt' face.

Yeah, that was probably it.]

[ombranera]

See, now that you've said that? One will appear. Somehow. Somewhere among the roots and stones it awaits your ankles.

Lurking.










Hungry.

[nobroth]

...................................Just for that.

When you least expect it.

I'm going to sneak up behind you - which I can do now, since I don't have armour.

And I'm going to stick my finger in your ear. After I lick it.

[Cue the pause.]

...My finger, not your ear.

[ombranera]

You realize I am armed with knives, yes? And my startle reaction is to stab? Why do you hate your kidneys so, Alistair? Have they not been good to you?

[nobroth]

[That actually got a laugh. A real one.]

You say that as if I can actually sneak up on you. Come on, you know you'd hear me from a mile away.

[ombranera]

Well, yes, but usually when you come up behind me it is to cart me about like a child's stuffed animal, not savage my ear.

[nobroth]

You say that as if I'm going to start chewing on your ear. Seriously, Zev, give me some credit. I am many things, but I am not a biter.

[He'd meant it as teasing, but now he wondered if that gave too much away.]

[ombranera]

Please, I've watched you wrestle with Jonas. The moment he would get the upper hand you would start biting or stuffing grass down the back of his shirt.

[nobroth]

That's different.

[Okay, that gave too much away. Good job, Alistair.]

[ombranera]

Yes, I imagine wrestling with your warden was quite different.

[ She who must not be named. ]

[nobroth]

Talked with Hawke about that at that party, actually.

[Andraste's small graces, a subject change.]

Kind of... figured out that she got to me at the right time. I don't think I was ever anything but a tool to her. A sword she used against...

Well.

Usually mages.

Me loving her was convenient because it kept me loyal.

[ombranera]

There is a reason I do not befriend nobles. Even Jonas, though he meant well, had...habits. Fewer of them than he might have for being the second son, but habits none the less.

[nobroth]

And yet, here I am. A royal bastard. And your friend.

[ombranera]

You were raised with dogs and slept in a stable, handed off to the Chantry at the first opportunity. Have you any love of politics, Alistair? Any desire to look at those about you and see them as pawns?

No. Your uncle, perhaps, but you've expressed frustration and disgust enough with his machinations for me to know that has never been what lies in your heart.

Your blood may be noble, Alistair- but you are a stable boy.

[nobroth]

[He gave a faint laugh.]

True enough. More than anything else, I just... I don't know. I guess I wonder how much blood really counts. Sometimes, anyway. Most of the time, I just want to make sure there's a roof overhead and food on hand.

...It's going to be strange, not having you around for the next few nights.

[ombranera]

Unless it is tainted? Blood is blood. It is recommended to keep it inside of your body and not on my boots.

[ His voice goes thick for a moment before he corrects, sighing. ]

Dab one of your scarves with the oil I use for my hair if you miss me so dearly.

[nobroth]

Don't tempt me. I'll turn into the world's worst sap at this rate.

It is nice, though.

[ombranera]

You'd best not- it would take you months to find me.

[ Because sap runs slow in the winter...and. Things. ]

[nobroth]

Right now, judging by things, it's going to take me about four days because I'm out here with an axe and everything. I guess living on the run gives you some advantages when it comes to packing in a hurry.

[ombranera]

I'll be grateful for your practice later.

Anything you bring will make the rest of the journey a great deal simpler.

[nobroth]

I admit. Right now, I'm mostly just thinking about bringing you home.

I mean. Everyone else, too, but.

Mostly you.