sixthiterationtexts | UN: ReforgedWings

That might be my fault. We got... awkward after I confessed my feelings to him, you know? I pretty much told him I needed to draw a line between our friendship and the way I felt about him. So having him come over wasn't... as easy to do.

[Wait, did he say that word? No way. Nida's eyes go huge and he sits up to look at Seifer.]

I totally didn't just say that. I did not just say that. Oh fuck. I didn't say that. Because it's too, you know, way too soon. I've barely had a handful of make-out sessions with him yet. I didn't...

[No, abort. Talk about something else.]

Uh, so... you can't tell anyone what I'm about to say. Literally only two other people know it. Well, one, because the other knows SOME of it, but not a lot and... Just, you can't say anything ever. Swear it.

Hyne you two are impossible.

[He rolls his eyes, shaking his head. Here he was trying to befriend Billy some more and Nida ruined it with awkward. Well, maybe things would smooth out now.

Oh yeah, he said the word. Seifer smirks.]

You definitely said the word.

[He thought the same thing about it being too soon, but he's hardly a romantic expert. His one shot at romance ended with his girlfriend falling in love with his rival while they were still together and she more or less forgot she ever had feelings for him until very recently. Basically he sucked at it and should never be asked for advice.

Nida's being near frantic with this had him worried again.]

Shit, Nida, what's going on? Did you join the mafia or somethin'? Alright, alright, I won't even make a vague tabloid type comment about it either.

He'll probably be over more. You have to be nice. I can't have my brother being anything but visibly supportive. For my sake.

[Nope, did not say it. Not thinking about it. It's definitely too soon, Nida read a book with romance. Definitely too soon. And he sighs as he looks at Seifer, something else to talk about.]

Thanks. I was sleeping with the Iron Bull, the head of the watch, pretty regularly. Super regularly. I just... Apparently there is this concept of 'friends with benefits'. Except I didn't... understand the friends part. Yeah, I know, don't fucking complain about getting laid. I just didn't realize until after I told him we couldn't anymore that he actually cared about me. Ugh, this friend concept is so fucking difficult!

I can be nice. [He insists, slightly offended. How dare. He's been nothing but supportive of this. If mildly a troll tonight.

Way too soon. Still said it. It's funny how he's acting about it too. Poor Nida.]

The who? I don't think I've met 'im. [He would remember a guy like Bull. Still, there is that arched eyebrow and mild squint that clearly said 'are you complaining about getting laid?' before Nida addressed it. Seriously, Nida, wow.]

I keep tellin' you people care and you keep not listenin' to me. You startin' to figure it out yet?

[He's glad Nida has friends and people who care. He needs that support network. Another smirk and he shakes his head in disbelief.]

The worst part is I get it.

[It's hard for him too.]

I am starting to figure it out. I just... he went to find Billy! To make sure Billy wasn't playing around.

[Which pissed him off. He'd almost attacked Bull. This is the worst.]

I worry maybe I sorta... hurt him? Shit, am I just that bad?

[Eesh, he winces. Yeah, alright, probably a bit intense.]

I dunno I guess... think of it how you threatened Tony over me. You look after the people you care about, sometimes it goes too far. Billy's okay, right?

[Billy's a sweet kid and he doesn't want him scared off because Bull got jealous or worried or something. Not with how much Nida cares about him.]

I ain't really the best person for this kind of advice. Maybe talk to him? Maybe wait until you're green again before you do.

[A faint smirk. Nida you're a bit unlike yourself right now.]

[Nida bites his lip to avoid mentioning Anne. Whoops.]

I'm sure Billy's fine. Because if he wasn't, he would have told me. But I don't want to make it awkward by asking him about it. I can't imagine it was jealousy doing it, right? I just... I guess I don't know how to deal with it.

[Waiting is the worst though. He hates waiting. Like right now? He's not really comfortable. Takes his wrist back from Seifer, shifts, and then starts squirming out from under Seifer. Sorry, but he's not comfortable and he has an idea of what to do. Grabs Seifer by the shoulders, forces him to lay down. And shifts so he's lying down with his head pillowed on Seifer's chest. Closes his eyes and returns his wrist to Seifer.]

Bad news. You're my pillow now. My room is so far away.

[Please don't threaten Anne, he really likes her. She was very supportive on the mountain.]

Jealousy or just protective, I dunno the guy so I couldn't say for sure. If he says it was just friends with benefits thing then I'd lean more toward protective.

[How to deal with it? Mentally flail and give yourself anxiety attacks. That's how Seifer does it. As for waiting yes, yes that is the absolute worst. Oh, hey, didn't you promise Nida? The loss of his entertainment has him pouting, followed by increased confusion when Nida decides to commandeer him as a pillow. Hello is this normal? He is unsure if this is normal.]

Uh. You okay? [So, so confused. And yet not really trying to get away. The wrist is back so he can go back to shitposting. As a pillow. Okay. He'll take it.

A huffed laugh.]

You're more dramatic than I am.

[Too late. But she appreciated it?]

I'm fine, you're a radiator, and I'm cold. This is so much easier than going downstairs and putting more logs in the furnace. And yes, I am more dramatic. I'm the spy, remember?

[Geeze, can't leave you anywhere on your own can he Nida?]

Is that what this is about? [He smirks, disbelieving. Okay Nida sure.] I wasn't aware bein' a spy came with an extra side of diva.

[Yes, he must tease. Now he's going to settle back in to his causing trouble.]

[Especially not with him in this state. As it is, he's clearly relaxing in, taking it in turns with Seifer to use the wrist device, because yeah, now he's chatting with Billy as he settles in here.]

It really does. Or at least that is what I'm getting from Reyes and Bull. And the Assassins.

[He knew Billy would show up sooner or later and he'd lose brother time to him. Alas. That's just how it goes. Don't mind him being mildly jealous, especially after his earlier scare. The insecurities are still there, creeping.]

Shit, Reyes is a spy? Explains everything. [He snickers to himself. Man that guy has some complicated history.]

The Assassins?

Yeah, capital t, capital a. I think they had an organization. Desmond is descended from some of them. Reyes is definitely a spy. I can tell.

[He does delay between messages with Billy to offer his wrist back to Seifer. He isn't going anywhere right now.]

How can you tell? [He doesn't disbelieve, mind you, but he is curious about what to look for. Teach him your secrets, Nida.]

An organization of Assassins, shouldn't we be. I dunno, concerned with that?

[He doesn't really want to worry about someone sneaking in and murdering him or someone else in the house in their sleep.]

Like knows like, Seifer. Like I recognized Reyes for what he was almost the second we met. But no, I'm not concerned. There's... something different between what they are and what I am. They're not a threat to anyone here, I think. Altair and Malik really want things to be better here, and Desmond hates what he was born to. I don't know about the other two so much. Three now.

[More concern about what Seifer actually was shitposting about. People having sex on rooftops.]

Mmm, I suppose you've got a point. Still, don't think they're gonna start causin' trouble?

[He can respect those things, still somewhat nervous about the idea. Though if Nida says they want things to be better he'll have to hope he's right. After all, he and Nida are soldiers who don't want to do any of that anymore. So maybe it's not that different.

Now he totally has more reason to post about rooftop sex see?]

[But... there's a moment where he's skimmed past one of Nida's messages. Yeah it's rude to read but how can he miss it? Initially touched by his comment of family coming first, he's immediately made distinctly aware that he himself is a terrible piece of shit by Jason's follow-up. Is that what's going on here? Pity, and Nida thinking he has to reassure him? The guilt twists his stomach furiously and any chance he was going to have enough appetite to eat dinner for a change goes right out the window.]

...You know you don't have to stay if you have other plans. Right? This fooling around isn't worth taking up your time.

[He'd much rather Nida go enjoy time with Billy. As it's suddenly become painfully evident that Seifer's an awful, selfish person and the worst brother that could ever exist. Suddenly he doesn't have the stomach for fun anymore. The guilt is too much.]

You're my other plans.

[He rolls onto his side to consider his brother, eye to eye. Which means that yeah, neither of them can use the device because it's pinned between Nida and the bed now. Stop hiding from him, Seifer.]

Family is first, and you're my family. There is no one else other than this other stray I've adopted. Because he's like us. Well trained by a man who intended to use him for his own end, who didn't care when the guy got killed, who hated him doing the right thing to stop suffering. You're my absolute first priority. Before anyone and anything else here. I would die for you, Seifer, because that is what family does. And I've been neglecting you because of Billy, because of Rinoa, because of all of this. But you're my brother and I care about you.

[Eye to eye doesn't last long, because he's ashamed and doesn't want Nida to see the guilt there and feel worse. So he's quick to glance away, uncomfortable. If it's pity he'd like to know. Hates pity.

There's someone else?]

I don't know what family does. [Apparently abandon and kill him, if history is to be taken into account.] Listen, I'm not a pet I don't need babysitting. If you want to go hang out with Billy then don't let me get in the way of that. I'm not here to get in between you or in the way and I'm gonna be pissed if you're doing that thinking I can't handle it.

[He's not that weak, Nida. If Nida has places he'd rather be then he shouldn't be wasting his time with this loser who can't control his own hurt feelings. Has no right to it. He's a piece of shit for even feeling that way and he knows it.]

Wow. I suddenly get why Fujin kicked you so much. What an idiot. Seriously, I might have to get in on that action too. Because right now I don't want to go hang out with my boyfriend. I have to figure out a date first, and we've got a rule. I've got no impulse control which means around him I want him. And around you, I just want to shake you because you're my brother and you don't seem to get it.

[He does shift on the bed though. Entirely to lay even more of his weight on Seifer.]

I'm here for you, Seifer. Family comes first and you're all I've got. My parents are dead, Seifer. They were going to give me a little brother you know. But they died. So instead I'm stealing a brother for myself.

[He heaves a long, frustrated sound through his nose. Don't kick him Nida, shin kicks hurt. And it'll make him miss Fujin all the more.] You mean it? 'Cause that conversation with your friend makes it sound like you're here outta obligation. That you're here 'cause you think you gotta pamper my fuckin' ego and I don't want that. I don't wanna be the thing between you and bein' happy you get that right?

[Because being his brother also means being supportive. He thought he had been, now he's not so sure. Now he feels guilty that he's anxious about being unwanted. Which only makes him more anxious and more worried, then more guilty because he really has no right to feel that way. If he had a switch he'd turn it off he really would.]

[Oof. Guess he's not going to escape even if he'd been considering trying to.]

...I'm sorry. [That he's not good enough to be that brother.] I don't think I'm very good at it.

[He's been trying his hardest. Thinks all he does is fuck up.]

Still. If you didn't want to bother with me anymore I'd understand. It's just how it works for me.

[Maybe a tiny hint into why he keeps acting like this.]

Seifer... when have I ever given a fuck about your ego? Did you miss the fact that we just had a laughing, knock down, wrestling battle over my wrist device? Do you think I do that with just anyone? Do you think I let just anyone near me when I'm unarmed? I've got tanbo now, Seifer, I'm always armed unless I'm around you. Because you're my brother and I trust you.

[It's a serious statement, a serious offering to Seifer. That he trusts Seifer in ways he doesn't trust others. That might have to change with Billy, but it matters.]

Seifer Almasy, I want to bother with you. This has been a roller coaster since we got here. And even with everything, you are always there for me. Stupid aggressive dancing. Living together. Cooking together. Getting lectured for getting hurt? That's you and me and that's family and I'm not giving that up. Ever. You're stuck with me. Run all you want, I've got damn good endurance.

Well... no. [And it had been fun, and ridiculous. Completely stupid he'd been having a blast. Now here he is unsure if it's a facade and he's just a fuck up deep down, not doing things right. That Nida would much rather be anywhere but there dealing with his mess. Slowly he nods, that much he does see and understand.] I trust you too.

[And that's why it would hurt so much more if Nida were lying to him. Please don't be, Nida, he'd be devastated.]

[A resigned, huffed laugh. He does offer a lot of good points.]

I don't want to run. This is the first time in my life outside of Fujin and Raijin I've actually felt like maybe I'm wanted. But I want you to promise me you're not going to skip out on opportunities just 'cause you think I'll be hurt. I'd rather see you happy, and I'll be pissed if you do that.

I'll try not to skip out on opportunities because I'm thinking about you and your needs. But like I said, family comes first so I can't make any promises. Not really. I'd hate to break my word to you. But I'm happy around you too, Seifer. If it wasn't weird as fuck and I wasn't so into Billy, I'd be really concerned about the risks of falling for your arrogant ass. Yeah, I know, you don't believe me. Whatever.

[Still, he feels like... Honesty time, right?]

To be honest? I think that being here is about the happiest I've ever been. But I feel like being here with Billy and without you would hurt more than being here with you and without him. So stop underestimating your value to me.

You know Hyne-damned well I'm too much of a fucking mess for that anyway. I'll accept family.

[Were the hurdles not there it might have been a possibility. But family is even better. More stable, more permanent. He hopes. He's just wanted to belong somewhere and for once, finally, he feels like he might be able to have that.]

[Honesty time is a good time. A slow nod, he understands.]

Well I don't wanna go anywhere that's for sure. I'll try to stop bein' so paranoid about it. Burned a lot, it ain't your fault I know that. Hard not to keep expecting the worst.

[After all even Cid and Matron gave up on him, threw him away. Didn't want him. When no one wants you after a point you really start to understand that no one's going to.]

I really am happy you and Billy finally got together, you know that right?

[Because he's been trying to make it very clear that he's supportive here.]

Trust me, Seifer. I get being burned a lot. I didn't even have friends before coming here, no really. And you've been closer to having family than I've ever had.

Besides... you're better than the 'heroes' I know. You're far more interesting and more invested in me as me and my needs than Squall's group.

[He finally rolls back onto his back and smiles. Yeah. He gets the supportive.]

I adore him. But I don't want to talk about him right now. Tonight's family night. Which means you. And means Jason. We're adopting him. He can be our older little brother.

UN: ReforgedWings

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