UN: None of your Goddamn Business

[moderndayassassin]

Alright what the fuck is up with these mice? This is the third damn time I've had to nearly set fire to myself.

Also who has booze and what do you want to barter for it?

Private to Connor

Hey. I need a favor.

Private To Lucy

Hey

Can we just

could I

fuck

Comments

[moderndayassassin]

[Laughing.] Oh cool, give it to me. I thank the academy for honoring me.

[skyward_eyes]

Academy? What academy?

[moderndayassassin]

We have awards shows and that's almost always the first line when someone wins.

[skyward_eyes]

What are the awards for? Do you really have awards for such mediocrity? That's a really lame world, Desmond.

[moderndayassassin]

It gets worse, these are awards celebrities basically give themselves.

[skyward_eyes]

Desmond... are you implying you're a celebrity? Because you were quick to jump at that award.

[moderndayassassin]

What, you couldn't tell from my impressive good looks?

[skyward_eyes]

Well, you've got the rugged down, and the five o'clock shadow is nice. So yes, impressive enough.

[moderndayassassin]

Guys like me don't get awards, but they do get millions of dollars to punch things on camera, take off shirts, and act gruff.

[skyward_eyes]

Can't speak to how well you could punch things, but you've got the last one down and I'm sure the second wouldn't disappoint.

[moderndayassassin]

You're going to make me blush. And same to you.

[skyward_eyes]

That's all it takes? A few works from a man who's never seen you shirtless? I could be wrong. What about that?

And I'd be really bad at my job if I didn't stay fit. So it's more obligation for me.

[moderndayassassin]

Guess I'm not used to being complimented.

Sure, an obligation.

[skyward_eyes]

What did you do in your life, like, manage computers or something? I don't believe you.

You don't believe me?

[moderndayassassin]

I was sheltered for sixteen years and then a bartender, so I might have heard some things around then, it's just been awhile.

I do, I'm just sure you're also glad you look good anyway.

[skyward_eyes]

Then you've been living under a rock. Get out in the village, get some fresh air. Go meet Zevran. Trust me, he'll hit on you, big time.

And maybe yeah, a little. I mean, it's useful. People are less likely to have issues with you crashing a formal party if you're attractive and have a suit.

[moderndayassassin]

It'd be flattering but pointless for him, I'm not really available at the moment.

How many formal parties have you crashed?

[skyward_eyes]

I don't know that would stop him. Even a Contessa being married didn't hold him back. Ask for the story.

A lot? Do I have to have a number? I've got formal wear suitable to a few different cities too. Or had, I guess.

[moderndayassassin]

Okay, yeah, that's a story I'm going to have to ask.

You've crashed a lot of parties? So that's you. Nida the party crasher.

[skyward_eyes]

I'll have you know that I was very well paid to go to those parties and dance with people and keep my ears and eyes open. Or act as a waiter. Or a lot of things really.

[moderndayassassin]

You're basically James Bond is what you're saying. A teenage James Bond.

[skyward_eyes]

Well, that depends. Was James Bond a sword for hire? Well, not a sword, I use polearms. So, like that?

[moderndayassassin]

No, he's a spy. He works for his government, so not for hire. It's just that he's stereotypically known as this very cool badass spy who shows up in suits.

[skyward_eyes]

Well, I could work for a government, if they paid us enough. But you know what? Suits are sorta counter-productive to intel gathering. Better to be a waiter at the party. No one is paying attention to you. Unless they're sexually harassing idiots. Which happens. I try not to break hands.

Prefer the attention to be a bit more mutual.

[moderndayassassin]

Honestly he's a terrible spy. He constantly introduces himself by his real name.