sixthiterationtexts | [One-Man Show] un: Watney

Can't say I have. ...Plus, you know, been trying to stay away from it. How about I promise you a backrub? Won't be as good as one of yours, but I'm not completely hopeless.

[There's some background noise for some of this. Fussing about to try to find the pack. And put together some kind of belt to hold the axe.]

I don't want the brandy to relax, Alistair, I want it so I will not think.

[ Won't remember the spill of blood, the betrayal on Rinna's face-

The oily curl of Tali's voice in his ear so soon after. ]

...If you check under the bed we haven't been using, you'll find a leather scabbard and belt. The tooling isn't finished but that is purely decorative. Consider it a late Satanalia gift.

[He's quiet, but then--]

Zev...

[If anything, he sounds absolutely, genuinely touched, but it shifts to gentle admonishment.]

Zev... It was for your knives, wasn't it? It must be. I've not been here long enough for you to work on something for me. ...Plus I smacked you in the face with a rock. I didn't mean to, but ... you know what I mean.

Would I go through the effort of putting the warden crest and griffons into the strap if it was meant for me?

[ And it is, in fact, just that. Half-formed, the fine lines not yet finished, the beginnings of a stamped pattern down half the length of the belt. Nothing of Antiva- nothing of Ferelden, not truly, but something of Alistair's.

Something that, to him, mattered. ]

From the sounds of it I have missed quite a few gifts. You are owed this.

[He's found it by then and... and he's quiet. Amazed.]

This is magnificent, Zevran. I'm... Thank you. Thank you so much - you've put... so much work into this...

Your trousers kept slipping low on your hips.

[ Like that takes the sentiment from the gift- it doesn't. He knows it does not. ]

As I said. I was not...there, for you, when you needed someone. I should have been. No oath of loyalty, no promise of safety is worth abandoning the first friend I have made honestly.

[A few more quiet moments as he tries to figure out the right reaction and, after a bit, lands on some light joking.]

We both know that if my pants were falling down, you would've sewn sinkers into the hems to make it happen faster.

The number of weights I would have to stitch in would tear the fabric before it pulled them past your ass.

[ It's an attempt at humor, for whatever little it may be worth. ]

[It gets a snort, though.]

Well, I do thank you for thinking of the condition of my pants.

Someone must- you do not pay them enough mind.

Apparently not, if they're sliding down my arse. Should I wear them down there, just for you?

[At which point he pauses. He...

...Huh. Apparently it's easier when he can't see someone. That's something new he's learned today.]

So you can trip over the hems?

[ He doesn't mean it. He's never meant it- For all the supposed (actual) flirtations with Reeve and Zevran's own nudging to speak with the man again-

Alistair seems to have remained firmly on one side of the border. ]

At least I'd be falling over something instead of nothing.

...And I just realised I won't be finding my way into any bear traps on this trip. Small blessings.

[Maybe it was because he couldn't immediately see the 'ugh he actually tried to flirt' face.

Yeah, that was probably it.]

See, now that you've said that? One will appear. Somehow. Somewhere among the roots and stones it awaits your ankles.

Lurking.

Hungry.

...................................Just for that.

When you least expect it.

I'm going to sneak up behind you - which I can do now, since I don't have armour.

And I'm going to stick my finger in your ear. After I lick it.

[Cue the pause.]

...My finger, not your ear.

You realize I am armed with knives, yes? And my startle reaction is to stab? Why do you hate your kidneys so, Alistair? Have they not been good to you?

[That actually got a laugh. A real one.]

You say that as if I can actually sneak up on you. Come on, you know you'd hear me from a mile away.

Well, yes, but usually when you come up behind me it is to cart me about like a child's stuffed animal, not savage my ear.

You say that as if I'm going to start chewing on your ear. Seriously, Zev, give me some credit. I am many things, but I am not a biter.

[He'd meant it as teasing, but now he wondered if that gave too much away.]

Please, I've watched you wrestle with Jonas. The moment he would get the upper hand you would start biting or stuffing grass down the back of his shirt.

That's different.

[Okay, that gave too much away. Good job, Alistair.]

Yes, I imagine wrestling with your warden was quite different.

[ She who must not be named. ]

Talked with Hawke about that at that party, actually.

[Andraste's small graces, a subject change.]

Kind of... figured out that she got to me at the right time. I don't think I was ever anything but a tool to her. A sword she used against...

Well.

Usually mages.

Me loving her was convenient because it kept me loyal.

There is a reason I do not befriend nobles. Even Jonas, though he meant well, had...habits. Fewer of them than he might have for being the second son, but habits none the less.

And yet, here I am. A royal bastard. And your friend.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject